A
female
age
36-40,
*illiams3
writes:hi, well i need some advice on what i can do about my 4 year relationship, I met my partner 4 years ago, at first we were happy and it was as if i was dreaming, my bf took my then 7 month old son like he was his own, and to this day he has alays been there for him,we then went on to have a daughter together, he was hurt really bad by his x who fell pregnant said the baby was his when it turned out it was'nt, so i knew he longed for a child of his own, we were both pleased when i fell pregnant but as i progressed things went bad, we would argue every day both saying nasty things to each other.When our daughter was 1 week old we again had another row, he held me by my throat, spat in my face and called me every name under the sun, i also found he had been talking dirty to other girls on the internet and was insulting me bad, i have had bi- polar for many years and this has always been stable, but ever since he started hurting me i found it hard to be nice to him, i am constantly shouting at him, and telling him to get out and leave, etc.Things started getting better for us and we felt happy but 3 weeks ago we had a massive bust up as i didn think my bf was fair, he stated that on a nice day me and our 2 kids had to stay in as the car was broken which it is but that evening he went out in the car with his mates to a works do so i was upset and told him it was selfish and threw black bags at him and told him to leave, he got up and threw the bags at my stomach really hard and said i dont care what happens to you or that baby i aint the dad, (I'm currently 7 weeks pregnant) he said i was a bad mum even tho i look after the kids alone when he works, again calling me nasty names, like im thick, im a 2 year old, im a waste of space, im fat, im nothing, so he up and left that evening saying he no longer wanted to be with me as i was making his life hell i treated him like shit for 4 years, while he left that night he stayed with a work collegue who in my opinion is to close to him they use every break in work together etc.He came home the next morning and he told me he stayed with family but i found out from his mum he hadnt so i went mad on him saying he was wrong to stay in her house so he left that night saying he was back the next day for good, and he wouldn go back to the woman's house, he txt saying he was in the car when indeed he was in her house again so i went up the wall, i said if he wasnt back that morning to take his son to school i was ending the relationship he txt saying he was unable to as he was talking to his mum when again he wasnt with his mum he was in the womans house again, he turned up at my house 3pm that afternoon he has stayed here ever since but he put a lock on hius phone and said i should trust him, he changed all his passwords on the laptop and said he wanted a social life and was off to snooker with a male friend he never came home till 11.30, he spent the other night in bed early, then he went work, by 7pm i realised he wasnt home i asked were he was and he said im talking to ann (the colleague he stayed with) in the car park of work, so again i went mental, he didn bother to get home till 10.30.I then found he left a paragraph on a site like this which were pure lies he said i was treating my kids like shit i was all sorts and wanted people to vote whether he should leave me or stay, he dont realise that im so angry because of all the shit he has given me. He has never been the type to show love or anything and he would only want sex once a month maybe 5 months or longer, he cums after 2 mins cause he dont do it often enough and after all this rowing i tried to turn him on and he pushed me away saying u dont deserve it. he is making me feel like im to blame for all this and its unfair.I dont know what to do now im pregnant again, i need advice as to where all his has gone, im sorry its a very long story but i need it off my chest.
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female
reader, mizz.butterflies  +, writes (29 April 2010):
 i got the feeling that u have already decided what to do but ur waiting for someone here to tell u different. yes u do want to leave him but ur thinking of ur kids and probably ur financial future. youre about to change your life and u just dont know it yet.leave this man.hes making u unhappy.he acts like a jerk.it will be very tough but its better to stand on ur own feet than have to be with a guy like that for support/comfort.
A
female
reader, KRSMouse +, writes (29 April 2010):
to be honest this relationship sounds just awful. i would get out right now and take your children with you, as its only a matter of time before he turns on them too. in time you will find someone else who treats you nicely, but in the meantime you should forget about him and concentrate on looking after your children instead.
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