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female
,
anonymous
writes: I am 19 years old and many people have told me that is young for a serious relationship.(been with my boyfriend for 3 years) I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I am falling out of love with him and this isn't what I want. He treats me great and has done more for me then my own family. I had a rough childhood and some people think I am pushing away from him because of it. My counsellor says I have major depression and I might feel differently about him if I get on medication. I want to know if medication can change the way you feel about someone? Also, what are the chances that I can work through these feelings and be happy with him? I really need some advice because feeling like my relationship is hopeless is crushing me. Thanks
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female
reader, flipchickmom +, writes (20 October 2005):
We women are blessed with 'intuition'. It is a gut feeling that is valuable for it leads us down the right path. If it doesn't feel like love anymore, than it isn't. Everyone is right, you are stil young. There are other areas in your life that need your attention, your future is awaiting. Don't go on medication, try to battle the depression by making a list of everything you feel passionate about and trying to incorporate at least one of the activities everyday. Break-ups are hard but BOTH of you will get over it. I was just as distraught when I was 18 and now I can't believe how badly I took it.
Good luck and be strong.
A
female
reader, missbunbury  +, writes (20 October 2005):
 Medication can change the way you feel about yourself, which is what is at the root of most depression problems. It may be that if you were feeling a bit more positive about life in general, then you'd see your relationship in a more positive light too, so for this reason I would suggest that you try the medication before making a big life decision like breaking up with your boyfriend. Most anti-depressants take a good while to work, so I would recommend that you wait six months before reassessing. Bear in mind when you do reassess though that you're very young - in my mind, relationships when you're young should be fun, not hard work. He sounds like a great guy, but you may end up deciding you don't want to be with anyone at all, and that's no bad thing. Whatever you do though, I would urge you to give the medication a go, if only to make sure that you're thinking clearly and not letting yourself get bogged down in painful depression - once you get past that issue, everything else will seem easier and more productive, I promise.
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