A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm 16 and a sophomore in highschool. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. I think it's safe to say that we're very much in love. He's my bestfriend first and then my boyfriend. I can tell him anything. We haven't had sex yet. Honestly, we've been taking things very slowly and he has never been the one to initiate anything I'm not comfortable with. He's 18 and a senior. A little while ago, i brought up the topic of sex and he's done it before many times, but I'm a virgin. I think I am ready though and, don't get me wrong, I am not doing this for him. If we have sex, it'll be because I feel that I ready and I want to do this and I want to be with him and in this relationship. There is no pressure coming from home. i think that virginity is not something you lose. it's something that everyone gives away at one point or another. I think I know what I'm doing and I know about protection and pregnany and STD's. My question is what we can do to make the sex somewhat enjoyable and special for the both of us?
View related questions:
std Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat's really great advice. Thank you. But I was wondering what anyone would suggest for a good place that would make it more meaningful or perhaps some ideas to make things less tense and the environment nicer?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2009): I've orgasmed before. I've been involved with this guy for awhile now so we've done most things, without actually getting all the way to sex. I am definetely ready. Thank you for the great advice. Flynn, that sounds good and I'm hoping that he and I will figure each other out even more. Tisha, that's good solid advice too. So where do you think would be a good place?
I want it to be a little more special than my bedroom. Haha.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (27 February 2009):
 You should work up to it with no timetable or schedule in mind. Lots of foreplay, you should be as aroused as possible--if you're not, then don't try, that's when it will hurt. When a woman is really aroused, her vagina will kind of balloon inwards, sort of expand so that it can be penetrated. Explore yourself with your fingers in the privacy of your own room or bathroom, preferably with some lubrication. You can get a good feel of what things feel like inside, then if you do that again when you're aroused, you'll feel the difference. The vaginal walls are kind of spongy and elastic feeling.
Have you ever had an orgasm? That would be very helpful for you to know your own body's responses. After an orgasm, you should be really well-lubricated on your own. If you haven't, I think it might not be a bad idea to figure it out before you do this. Then what's happening won't be so scary.
Arousal, relaxed vaginal muscles and lubrication. Gentle lover, patience, don't tense up.
How's that for a start?
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2009): Just take it slow and communicate. If you are trully ready, nothing anyone says will stop you.
Just remember to use protection and don't expect it to be like you see in movies, because sex rarely ever is like that, even between two people who love each other.
Just use the experience to find out what buttons he likes pushed and you like having pushed. This way you can find out how to give pleasure to each other properly.
Sex is the most natural way to express love to the one you love when it is done under the right circumstances, but it can also be something entirely terrible when done under the wrong ones, so be careful about that.
Flynn 24
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionjust one more question... how can we make it less painful for me?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTha's great advice. Thanks. I'll defientely all of that into account.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (26 February 2009):
Remember that he could get in trouble if you are below age of consent. It varies by state, so make sure you have all the facts there. There's no point in getting him on the sex offender's registry if you're not quite ready. Lecture over.
Right, I have to wonder about your use of the words "somewhat enjoyable"? You're already certain it will be less than enjoyable, I guess?
First times are scary but they can be very special if you are with the right partner, and I personally think that being deeply in love and committed is an important part of that equation. So mull it over. Remember that most high school romances don't last.
Then if you do decide to go through with it, go into it with a sense of joy, and love, and respect, and wonder, and playfulness. That's really all you need to know, if you've got the mechanics (like what goes where and when) down, and the safety features (birth control, and more birth control---2 methods are a good idea for newbies). You can find out more about birth control options at plannedparenthood.org. Don't be drunk out of your mind. Don't do it in a bathroom (trust me, that one was posted here) or some stupid awkward place. Don't put too much emphasis on the act, put more emphasis on the connection. If you understand that, you'll be doing fine.
And then you can look back on that day, when you're an old lady, and smile, and know that you made the right decision.
...............................
|
