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male
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tux
writes:You ask for someone's advice and expect to get good advice back, what do you do? You tell them your story and expect to get a good response back. Do you always get it? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. There are a variety of steps you need to consider to get the best advice available and make the most out of it. 1. Give ALL the details -Without all the details, we are often left guessing on exactly what to say and often lead to some advice, though not far off, that is rather off. Make sure you include everything that is bothering you about your problem.2. Be Exact -You need to be exact, don't let the advice giver guess. Eliminate the usage of vague words like few, many, a lot, a certain number, etc. This words can be interpreted in many different amounts. Even "a few" can be read as 42, even though you meant 4, while "many" can be be read as 4, when you mean 42. Many people define these words based on the tone of the voice or just what they think it means. Counter this by giving the complete numbers as in, she has 42 engagement rings from previous lovers or he has had sex with 4 other girls before me. If you don't know the exact number then give your best guess as in "They spanked their children around 3 times."3. Watch your word usage -Language can play a big part on the type of advice you receive. Be very careful on how you word your question. I've seen a lot of advice go against the question asker, mainly because the way they asked the question made them look like the bad guy. Avoid this by checking the tone of your question before you ask it. 4. Do not expect a certain response -Do not ask a question and expect a certain answer and be disappointed with the answers you get back. If you are only expecting a certain response back, then why are you asking? Of course, you may be asking to reaffirm your actions or beliefs, but don't be too disappointed when it does not occur. 5. Heed the advice -If you ask advice, and do not take any of it, what good is even asking? If someone offers up advice, take a look at it and determine what parts of it is good for you in your certain situation. Just don't expect that just reading the advice means that it fixes your problem. It doesn't. You need to take action. Of course, this does not mean that you should take bad advice, just take advice that you feel will help your situation. Reply to this Article
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2009): good article. and should be carved at the top of the page :) before anyone is allowed to ask a question.
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