A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Why am I so turned on when I see my boyfriend? I'm 15, but I've never felt like this before! I know one reason is hormones? Anyways... I've never felt like this with anyone else. It's freaking me out. Maybe another reason is that he told me I turn him on too. We haven't done it. We aren't going to do it. We are way too young an I have a purity ring. We dont know why we get so turned on when we see each other. He said he's never felt this way with anyone else either. It's weird Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2011): Desire is good, but arousal is better. Hormones are related to arousal (physiological), so basically your body is arouse by him. When I say arousal is better, I do NOT encourage you to engage in sexual intercourse because of your purity ring. Purity rings do not stop hormones, but it is to remind you that you are choosing to say NO to sex for a reason. What can you do to slow down these feelings? DO NOT SPEND TIME TOGETHER ALONE. Those "moments" or "It feels right" will lead you two into bed sheets. Someone mention willpower which I do believe that it can overcome these drives. Find other activities that you two share: biking, a walk in the park, cafe, do some gardening, whatever it takes for you two to find OTHER common ground. IMO, I personally don't encourage any other sexual activities that YouWish suggested although I have nothing against that person. I think that those suggestions will always lead you back to desiring sex and desiring more.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2011): Getting turned on is normal.
Point #4 by YouWish is good, practical advice. It's easy to THINK that because you both want to avoid having sex, that your willpower can be strong enough, but more often than not the results are disappointing. Give yourselves some safeguards by avoiding being in places and situations where you could easily have sex or so-called "outercourse".
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A
male
reader, St. Nowhere +, writes (1 May 2011):
 It's your and his hormones. YouWish covered pretty much all of it but I would not listen to Suggestion #3 by him. Sorry as a guy who wants to wait till marriage for sex I don't put myself in that situation cause I know I can't handle it. I don't know your boyfriend so I can't say for sure but I wouldn't open up that Pandora's Box because once you do its very difficult to shut. Best wishes!
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (1 May 2011):
 Heh, you're learning that your hormones have no rings. :)
Well, there are some healthy ways to slow down the feelings.
One is to masturbate, to put it plainly. If you have a vent for all that sexual tension, it will take a lot of pressure off of you. It also has the added bonus of letting you get to know your body so that you can teach a guy how to drive you crazy later.
Two is not so fun. When you get turned on, it's really mind over hormones. Would you get turned on by the idea of you getting pregnant? Guys your age aren't that good at control when it comes to sex. It's sort of like a kindergartener playing with a gun. You don't realize the major risk and responsibility in dealing with sex.
Three is to do things with your boyfriend that absolutely don't involve intercourse, yet satisfies you both. Some people call it "outercourse", but frankly, that word is like nails on a chalkboard to me. But that's what I mean. Do things that aren't sex. Oral, mutual masturbation, heavy kissing, etc. This involves a commitment between you and your boyfriend and a trust to never cross that line and never pressure to cross the line.
Four is to keep the lights on and don't spend too much time alone in a bedroom! Sometimes, the best way to avoid sex is to stay in public. (I know, I know...some people like sex in public...I'm not one of them!)
Five, and I mean no disrespect to your boyfriend and I'm sure he's got feelings for you, but at his age, he'd be turned on by anything! His hormones are in overdrive, as are yours. It's wonderful to know you turn him on, but remember to keep your wits. You chose the promise ring, and you'll be happy you waited.
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