A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My best friend who recently got pregnant stopped talking to me over a small mis understanding. I was having a really shitty day at both personal and professional life and to vent i posted something somewhere..she assumed it was was her and went berzerk..She never gave me a chance to explain my side of story.i sent her multiple texts to explain what happened that day but she just wont listen..she thinks i insulted her for using me for my money. Now i know hormones can be extremes in pregnancy but now all she is doing is shutting me out..she wont talk to me about anything. She knew i was very excited for her kid but she is just blocking me out. She ignores my calls or texts, she wont even talk to me at work. I dont know what to do? Do women really behave this was in pregnancy?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 November 2018):
If this is an important (to you) friend, I would do the following.
Send her a letter, the hand written kind, and explain yourself, then leave it up to her to decide if she wants to contact you or not.
Keep drama of your Facebook/social media even if you just want to vent. Because it will eventually spill over in your "real" life too.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (28 November 2018):
I doubt it is all pregnancy related. Yes hormones are raging and fuses are shortened. But it sounds like she doesn't want you part off her life right now. She is probably looking to her future as being a mother and weather the public post was about her or not she feels it was and she doesn't want that in her life at the moment. You have explained yourself and she is not accepting it therefore all you can do is accept she doesn't want to be part off your life anymore at the moment and leave it for now.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2018): That is the problem with venting without naming names, people can and will second guess. I have seen people do it and a friend posted something and i messaged her and said 'I hope that isn't aimed at me' because honestly it could have been because she generalised.
Honestly if you cannot tell the person who has annoyed you in person it is not worth potentially upsetting other people who may think you are on about them. Social media can cause trouble and in this case it has, she may just now think it is spineless that you vented about someone as you did.
She may forgive you, she may not, i know you didn't aim it at her but she thinks your vent fitted her i'm afraid
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2018): Yes, its not uncommon for the new mum to be to become very selective about who they wish to associate with and as pregnancy can become very busy she has every right to pick and choose who she wishes to associate with.
In your case I would let her go.
You posted something that she felt insuiated to the world that she was a leech, only using you for money.
It's not important that you didn't want to imply that.
Its only important that she protects her family from all possible harm and I think that your friendship is done for now.
You must prove yourself capable of getting on with your life while she gets on with hers.
A bad day can have very disastrous consequences.
Plenty of people drive too fast and accidentally kill someone on the roads and then they can never be replaced.
In your case its not so serious but it is time for you to move on and find new friends because things are changing.
If she approaches you in the future you can explain it all if needs be, but personally I would stand back from her life and let her get on with being a new mum.
Its the kindest thing to do, regardless of right or wrong or who to blame or not.
Prove you can be a good person by letting her carry on as she intends to be without you in her zone.
Don't do anything that could be construed as harrassment.
And don't put it down to hormones.
Its her commonsense that told her to pick her friendship group very carefully at this very important time for her.
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