A
female
age
22-25,
*emmie
writes:My teacher and I are very close. He always tells me I'm his favorite student and we always joke and have interesting sometimes inappropriate conversations. He told me I'm beautiful, he always gets upset when other people hit on me. And he has hugged me before. I would really like if he did like me, he's really hot and super sweet and funny, I would wait until I'm 18 to do anything. But do you think he likes me? Also my piano teacher is a guy and lately he's been touching my hand a lot and sitting closer to me and always laughs at my jokes. What do you think about that? Idk if he should be touching me at all Thank you (: Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2015): I had a music teacher like this once. The old dude freaked me out. I had about 2 lessons with him and than I got the ell outta there!
Years later I found out he was a registered pedophile.
Run!
A
female
reader, Lemmie +, writes (21 October 2015):
Lemmie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys so much! Very helpful
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (20 October 2015):
 I took piano lessons for more than 15 years. One of them was making hints that he would marry a younger woman (my age) one day. One of them I had a crush on and we kept our flirtations minimal and subtle. What your teacher is doing is way out of line. Okay I understand that touching your hand to guide your fingers how to move is necessary but if he is touching you for reasons besides teaching then it is inappropriate. I don't think teachers and students of the opposite sex should sit on the same bench. When there is a crush between student and teacher, I think your learning potential would not be maximized because you would be distracted by romantic thoughts. It is also against teaching ethic because there is favoritism here. When you teach (I don't care what subject you are teaching), you represent your personality behind your degree. You are also teaching humanity and how to treat others as well. He is not setting a good example or good role model. He is not worth your mom's money and he is abusing his authority.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2015): NO. Beware of him. He must be a pervert. You should take care of urself. This is not the way a teacher should act. Say NO to him stop him whwen u think he is crossing the limit. You are at adolescent age. Beware dear.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 October 2015):
 How old is this teacher?
And how CREEPY is he?! That last one was a rhetorical question, I agree 100% with YouWish this is NOT OK behavior from a teacher/tutor. He doesn't need to be touching you, and he shouldn't have sexual banter with you either.
I know at 17 you feel all grown up, but... you are WAY to naive to not see the whole picture here.
The guy is a creeper. Hitting on a student? Getting PAID to hit on a student... even better, right?
He is there to teach you piano. I get that you can strike up a "sort" of friendship - but a sort of friendship doesn't include touch and sexual banter/jokes.
If I had a tutor/teacher teaching one of my kids in MY own home and he did this? I'd want to punch him in the face! I know violence isn't right - but what he is doing is even worse. He is making you doubt yourself and your own limits.
YOU know that it's not right for him to be touching you, but because HE is the adult and you are the student, you keep your mouth shut and play along so things won't be uncomfortable.... I say, time for a new teacher. Tell your mom he makes you uncomfortable and you wish a new teacher.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (20 October 2015):
 Danger-danger will Robinson! As the robot used to say in "Lost in Space" (an old TV show). Better stop this fun stuff before he tells you to take off your clothes.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (20 October 2015):
 Yikes, RED FLAG!!!!!
This guy is GROOMING you. He is crossing the line on many fronts, and especially with the beautiful comments and the touching. I took years of piano lessons, and there is ZERO reason for any piano teacher to touch you. Not to "show" you the proper fingering of the keyboard, not to *show* you where your arms are the most "comfortable", NONE of it.
In fact, he's taking advantage of your hormones, and right now, you are a baby amongst a pack of wolves, or a slice of cake amidst a crowd of birthday boys, and your ego loves the attention. But don't fall for it! It's not appropriate. He's an adult and you are not. In the US, 18 is the age of consent when you're talking adult/minor.
To groom someone means that he's seducing you, flattering you, showing extra special attention because he wants something from you, whether it's an ego boost, or sexual touching, or anything! It's not appropriate to comment on your looks and be upset when you get hit on by other boys.
You're in danger, girl! I think you know it too because even underneath the "he's so hot" hormones you're feeling and underneath the thrill you're getting from his attention and affections, you're not comfortable with this. DO NOT IGNORE that part, because it's your sixth sense warning you of danger. Seriously, you're in danger.
You need to come clean and tell your parents/guardians. You won't get blamed. You won't "get him in trouble" unless he's started touching you inappropriately or groping you, and that's where I see this going next. If he's already touching your hand a lot, acting jealous, and calling you "beautiful", he's thinking about you genitals and breasts. The touching and grooming will push the boundaries, and your feelings of "I don't know if he should be touching me" will intensify, and then GUILT on your part will keep your mouth shut because even though it's wrong, it feels good and you'll feel like it's your fault.
It's NOT your fault. You are underage. A minor cannot give consent for an adult to touch you. But you need to EXPOSE it before it gets out of hand. He is grooming you. It started with compliments, then jealousy, now touching. Next it'll be groping, maybe kissing, etc.
How old is he? Is he married? Guys who teach piano tend to be much older. You won't be holding out until you're 18 because he's not interested in an actual relationship with you. If he DID have noble intentions, he'd stop touching you and keep it professional and cool it with the compliments until you were a lot older. He knows what he's doing, and it's not a noble intention AT ALL.
Tell your parents. Tell your friends. Tell the school counselor (I don't care if it's not a school issue!). It's the only thing that will save you, because if you DON'T do anything, very soon your happy feelings will turn to anguish after he gets what he wants out of you. You don't want that, and your sixth sense is RIGHT!!!! That he should NOT be acting like this with you. That's the DANGER sense in you, your "spider senses", and do not make the mistake of ignoring him because you don't want to hurt his feelings. He has no such consideration for you when he's touching and sweet-talking you.
It's got to stop now before you really get hurt. Remember in Finding Nemo where Marlin and Dory are in the deep part of the ocean, and they see a light and start getting happy and hypnotized? They want to touch the light, watch the light, be the light's "best friend", and then all of a sudden TEETH and "uh oh. good feeling's gone.". That's a real life fish called the "angler fish" that reels in its prey with the pretty light in the darkness.
Your piano teacher is the angler fish.
His attentions/compliments/touching is the hypnotizing light.
You are the prey.
Get out before you're wrecked.
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A
female
reader, Tottochan  +, writes (20 October 2015):
Hey,
I'm sorry, but it is not at *all* appropriate for him to say the things or behave the way he is with you as you are a minor.
Please keep the relationship as a teacher-student one, and do not blur the lines, or allow him to either. If the conversations that the two of you have is not something that you can share with your parents, then rest assured, that conversation should *not* be had in the first place.
You'll definitely find someone very nice, and age appropriate for you - but this person, and at this time, is not the one for you.
All the very best, and take care.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (20 October 2015):
 No he should not be touching you at all. He is in a position of trust and 17 is not legally 18. When you refer to conversations sometimes being inappropriate would I be correct in assuming you mean a sexual tone because that would be not on either-period. How old this guy anyway? You sound infatuated by this guy, which is natural around your age, and something he would be fully aware making you an easy target. Maybe he acts like this with other young ladies also. I don't think that telling you he is behaving inappropriate will change things from your perspective, will it? Be careful what you wish for because it could land you both in hot water.
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