A
male
age
36-40,
*ey
writes:Everytime (Three times now) I try to have sex with my G/f it goes soft. I'm a virgin, but I'm positive it isn't nerves. Last night, like everytime we're about to have sex, we were kissing for like 45-50 mins! Now during all that my penis was erect and ready to go, then by the time she takes her pants off. It just gradually decreses until its no longer erect. Then she gets annoyed like its supposed to stay that way forever. I'm pretty sure an can erection only lasts for a finite about of time without some sort of continual stimulation. (She also refuses to touch it btw) So, I guess my question is...Is it my fault? After about 5 mins of kissing/foreplay or whatever should I be the assertive one and start taking her clothes off? And secondly, am I wrong in my assumption that an erection can only last for so long if not being used before the excitement goes away and so does it?
View related questions:
erection, kissing, my penis Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Rey +, writes (29 April 2007):
Rey is verified as being by the original poster of the question Last Night was great, I took all of your advice and also that of a friend to have a little alcohol before hand to loosen me up and everything went off nicely. Having this one under my belt I feel that in the future our sexual relationship will be easier and much more fun. Thanks again everyone for all of the wonderful advice!
A
male
reader, Dr. Mark  +, writes (19 April 2007):
A long foreplay period is excellent, but due to the circumstances, I think that next time you should take the iniative earlier on. You can start taking her clothes off after 5 minutes, as you have suggested, but you can still wait a little longer than that before penetration. But don't wait 45 minutes.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2007): Guess what? It is nerves! You're a virgin, this is a big step for you and your g/f isn't helping matters by not wanting to touch your fore-mentioned...um, member. What's up with that? I'd be willing to bet if she'd get over her fright in the matter, and start touching it, stroking it, licking it, you wouldn't have any problem staying hard so you can complete the...um, task at hand. Foreplay takes two. It shouldn't be one-sided! And your g/f may be making you feel self-conscious and "nervous".....And P.S. the more you stress about it, the less it will want to perform correctly for you. Relax, slow down, and both of you need to be involved in the act before it can be satisfaction for both of you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2007): i think yor g/f is acting quite melodomatic in my view she wants you to suduce her and give her all the pleasure teasing her tantalising her but you cant get that back from her she dont want to touch feel or caress your private parts and she wonders why it goes down so quick try explainin without stimulation it doesnt stay hard or forget her and move on thats my advise this is from a female dont be shy venture out not all women are the same as this self centered madam good luck
...............................
A
male
reader, Rey +, writes (19 April 2007):
Rey is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo she didnt say why she refues she just says "I'm not going to touch it" something about that being too weird or something like that. I mean is it just me or should she be adding more stimulation besides kissing?
Its like we kiss for 40-50 mins then she kicks off her pants and its like "Take me now" and I'm there like, okay, so thats it, you're not going to massage it, rub it, lick it or something...I dont know perhaps I'm wrong to want or need that, I dont think I am but I may be.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2007): Obviously the problem isn't that it won't become erect, I'm assuming that perhaps it just wont stay that way for long ~ so with that said I would have "some" foreplay, kissing, touching, rubbing and then try it. Don't think about it so much also because your focus will be on "how long has it been since we began" " is now a good time" She should also help by being more understanding instead of putting so much pressure on you. Good Luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (19 April 2007):
 Well, I don't know about the expiry time of erections, but I do feel that a woman who has no understanding for your going soft, is not very tolerant at all. Now that you know she expects your little soldier to be standing at attention all the time, it puts extra pressure on you mentally because you know that if you go soft she will get annoyed.
Did your girlfriend ever tell you why she didn't want to touch you? It seems like a strange attitude to not want to touch the genitals of the person she is going to have sex with. I mean, she will be taking it into a very private area in any case, why can't she touch it with her hands then?
Personally, I don't think that a woman should expect a guy to be hard for a long time without some stimulation.
...............................
|
