A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This isn't a question as such. I was perusing a few of the messages people have left about liking, fancying, loving, having or wanting a relationship with their teachers.Can i just say,(as one who had crushes on 2 of my teachers, one all throughout secondary school and another for 2 years) that you do get over them. It may take a while, mine certainly did, but i am free of them and if i ever encountered them in public now, i'd be very embarrassed and not be able to look them in the eye.You see when i was 11 and started secondary school, lol so, so long ago now, i immediately fancied one. I shall call him Mr X. Now Mr X was a very handsome fellow, but honestly, he had no personality. I know that now, but back then he was just perfect, nowadays i look back and say, 'Bloody hell! Did i really have a crush on him!' All my friends knew of it and everytime he came into sight they would always look at me and see my reaction and we'd all go giggling past him, so i am pretty sure he had an idea. Anyway, i went through what we all do, despair, depression when he got married to a teacher at the same school, but you know what, i never ever would have told him to his face. And if you do it, just be prepared for the fall-out.The fact that he was married didn't weigh with me, but after i had left school and heard his wife was pregnant, suddenly he didnt seem so desirable. I mean to say, they had married 5 years before the choice to have children, so it tells you only one thing. Well told me. He had plans that didnt include indulging a hormone filled teenage girl who was spotty lolAnyway that crush was extinguished just a year after leaving school.The 2nd crush however, didnt dissapate until 2 years ago. Mainly because men like him just don't exist much these days.Unlike Mr X he was not handsome, slightly dull, but there was something strangely attractive about him. You see as i grew older though i fancied Mr X still, Mr Y was older, i've admitted not as handsome but he had presence. Suddenly my preferences had changed and i think for the better. He was my English teacher and that was my favourite subject before the crush. Now he never knew i had a crush on him. The thought wouldn't have entered his head. I was just the shy girl who sat in the classroom quietly, not saying a word to him or asking him for help. I did try and see him every day, even played up a little by being late with courseworks. I was more pro-active with him than Mr X, i didnt care if i didnt see Mr X most days, but i always wanted a glimpse of Mr Y. Also this time only one friend knew of my crush on him, so at least Mr Y didnt have to endure our giggling every two minutes.The fact is, just like you all out there with crushes, every look and action he made was noted by me. I had delusions of him watching me, staring at me, sharing stolen glances, but basically he was only looking at me, because i was staring rudely at him lolI'm not going to say to you all, that you will, with time realise how silly you have been because i've been through the same and i don't think i was silly, it was a learning curve, but all you who say, when you leave school your heart will break, it really won't. You will discover more to life than an older man/woman who in a few years, won't seem as attractive. You might not fancy boys/girls your age, i know i didn't, at 22 i ended up going out with a 34 year old and before him i had dates with men who where older than me. So at least i realised one thing, i do like older men lolAnyway i just wanted to write this and just say to you all, ignore those who say 'Oh not another one who fancies their teacher, its just a crush, get over it!!' but just realise, its not love, you won't end up in a relationship with them, he/she won't leave their spouse or children for you, and if he/she does, do you really want to be with a person who is capable of hurting those they claim to love.I just wanted to write this. I don't want to patronise any of you, but just read what i've wrote and just think. Thats all.Thanks.
View related questions:
crush, my teacher, older man, older men, shy Reply to this Article
Share |
You can add your comments or thoughts to this article A
female
reader, Sputnixx  +, writes (24 July 2008):
I found this to be an interesting read. I just thought I'd comment since I have some experience with this sort of thing.
When I read "but just realise, its not love, you won't end up in a relationship with them"... i had to chuckle a bit. I suppose for most of you it isn't.. but I think for some it is. I wouldn't say I had a crush on my teacher in high school.. I would say that I had strong feelings for him as a person. I knew that he also had strong feelings for me. It was strange.. but from the moment I saw him something was different. It's like my heart knew something that I wasn't going to realize for quite sometime. We both had those feelings.. and we both didn't indulge ourselves in them... especially not in a sexual way.. not even mentally. But as time went by they only got stronger. After a while we decided to get to know each other better because we both felt very strongly that SOMETHING was there and we really wanted to know what that something was. Shortly after we realized that SOMETHING was real love.. and he decided he would switch careers so that we could explore that further.
and life goes on... he's in a career making much more than a teacher (and enjoying it much more as well).. we've been EXTREMELY HAPPILY married for years now and even expecting a little boy in the next few weeks.
I'm not sure if I believe in soul mates... but if they do exist then I found mine in high school. People can think what they want.. but when it comes down to it we only have one life to live. & if you both TRULY think you have found the person you want to spend that life with ... it's worth a career change not to pass that up! I understand we're the rarity... but we exist!!!! Very happily may I add! ;-)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008): I also had a MAJOR crush on a teacher basically from day 1 of high school(13) until the day i left school(17). It took me a while to get over him but i did. Reading your post really took me back to what that was like!!
It was such a big part of my life for a long time but boy was i deluded. I also remember reading into everything, everytime he looked at me, smiled at me, spoke to me, left a note at the end of my homework. he knew i fancied him, he knew very well...infact most of the school knew!!
I do however think he could have handled the situation better as he did lead me on i believe. Probarly because he was flattered!
You see he was the teacher that got on with all the pupils, he was young, he was the joker, he was cool and handsome to the select few, he was the teacher everyone hoped they would get and to me he was a godlike figure lol.
He was also, a husband and a dad to 3 kids. You see when he went home at night, he was mr responsible and he led a different life, I never crossed his mind when he was changing nappies or cuddling into his wife...and why should i have??
He stays close to me and always has, which during my school years i thought to be some sign of fate lol
I still see him every so often and he always says hi and asks me how im doing, what ive been doing lately etc And i still blush like im that 14 year old school girl all over again.
You do move on though, you do get over them, you do realise that it wasnt love, he didnt see you any different from the rest of his pupils. it may not seem like it right now but it will pass and like me in a few years time if you ever see him again you will blush...and why...?
Because you realise how funny it was!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, Ask The Leprechaun +, writes (24 June 2008):
 Thanks, a part of me doesn't want to admit it (the same part that doesn't want to get over this) but this really helped me see things differently.
But most of all that last bit.
he/she won't leave their spouse or children for you, and if he/she does, do you really want to be with a person who is capable of hurting those they claim to love?
actually I read it wrong, I read it as ".....want TO BE a person who is capable of......"
And the answer to that is no. I don't want to be that person. I care to much. I would rather suffer in silence everyday, than turn their world upside down, they have a family and a career, I am not worth that.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): Wow, thank you for sharing this.
I am currently in Year 10 .. going into year 11 soon and i have been so scared and upset that in a year I will more or less never see my two teachers again who mean very much to me.
They both mean very much to me but I have had feelings for one of them for more than a year [more than a year of shaking whenever i see him, cherishing every word he speaks to me, asking him questions i already know but just wanting to interact with him and even resorting to sneaking into his department staffroom so i could see photos of his girlfriend/kids].
Lately, I have been thinking about him non-stop, wondering what life is going to be like to never see him or his college again but after reading your experiences i am hoping, PRAYING, that i will be able to let him go
Thank you
xXx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): thanx for writing this it made me see things that i was afarid of and this is making me think more but one thing how can i get over this guy that i have had feelings for(the past 3 years) if he has never been married,no children and recently brokeup with his girlfriend.
...............................
|
