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female
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anonymous
writes: I have a somewhat wild past..my current boyfriend has heard many rumors and is now bothering him. We have discussed this, but its still bothering him. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Dawnest +, writes (11 January 2006):
Dont pander to his insecurities tomake him feel better about your past. This guy will throw it back in your face a million times. Its your past, it shouldnt come back to haunt you and frankly, it has nothing to do with him.
I feel you and he will not be a couple for long so its best to move on the next time he does a number of you about being the block bicycle/fast/free blah blah blah.
You sound like a child of the 21st century so dont apologise for what you enjoyed nd next tie around, keep your trap shut. Its really no one's business but yours what you did in yourbefore life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2006): Be careful here with this guy, dear. He takes you as is or re-evaluate this relationship.. If he tries to make you feel badly about your past you tell him, "This is my past, and I'm not ashamed of it. If you can't deal with it-that's too bad. Please never bring it up again"
Set the boundries now and do not tolerate such juvenile and completely sexist behavior. Some guys get indimidated and insecure about their gf's past. While one can understand the root of this emotional response-many secure, confident men also would never lay that back on you like that. It sounds like that down deep, he may care more about your "purity" than who you truely are, yourself. This is just a case of him having very extreme views as to what he feels, constitutes "promiscuity;" and he has major trust issues. Seriously..if he's like this now, will he ever really change? Maybe it's time you consider someone more understanding and secure with their own sexuality and past. Stay strong dear..never tolerate this type of behaviour in a relationship. Take care
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A
female
reader, sexseahot  +, writes (10 January 2006):
 YOU shouldn't have to do anything. It's your past, if you're not like that anymore, then it shouldn't matter. A lot of people have a wild past and want to just move on from what they've done before.
I am one of them, my past isn't the greatest, but I know I have changed a lot, my boyfriend wasn't happy about my past, but he's learning that that isn't me anymore, that was me then and now I am me now.
Let him know that you can't change your past and he must get over what you have done or else your relationship will not move forward. He should be thinking about your future together, you're with HIM now, not whomever else. Let him know there isn't anything that should bother him and if he can't get over this, then let him go, you have no reason to have to listen to him forever about your past bothering him. It's not fair to you because you can't change that.
If he didn't like your past, then he shouldn't have gotten with you if it bothers him that much. No one wants to know that their past bothers someone and if it does, awe well, there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.
Good Luck!
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