A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Confusing Boyfriend!My partner and I have been together for a year, he used to be quite an afectionate guy, lots of hugging etc and our sex life used to quite good. Things have changed so much so fast, I have confronted him and asked why these things dont happen anymore but he just avoid the conversation. He pretty much treats me like a friend not hi g/f. We havnt had sex in nearly two months. It seriously is driving me insane and i really cant figure out what is going through his mind. He says he still wants to be with me but can a relationship survive with no intamacy?
View related questions:
sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the answers. We had a really good chat and told me about his first love, he really loved her but let her go because he wanted to travel and see more of the world and pretty much wasnt ready for what she wanted. What he was saying kind of makes me think well I dont think he is really over her though he says he is. And then theres other females txting him, whats with that?? one in particular, he says she is just a friend but I really dont think hes being completly honest, she quite often txts him asking him to come pick her up etc.
A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (23 June 2011):
 Sex and affection is not everything in a healthy, balanced relationship, but when it is missing entirely, it becomes everything!Coal Miners used to take canaries into mines with them to determine if dangerous gases were present that could kill them. If the canary died, they knew to something was wrong.No sex is a sign that something IS missing.He needs to know that part of your life, especially the daily affection of kissing, hugging, etc makes you feel secure, valued, connected, etc. to him. It was those things that BROUGHT you to him in the first time, and the absence of them makes you feel distant.Is he willing to talk about it? Is there a medical condition going on? Depression? Could he be wrestling with doubts about the relationship? Unsure to let go/unsure to hold on?Pick a quiet moment and let him know you MISS that part of your relationship and can not live without it. Ask him if he is willing to work with you to bring that back.Best Wishes.
...............................
A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (23 June 2011):
 Hi,
Intimacy is not everything in a relationship, but it takes a big part. Its the time when you both bond together and let your guards down. It should be special, its when you both get closer and express the love for one another.
I don't know how long you've been together, but 2 mos is quite a while for a normal couple not to have any intimacy at all. I could say that something is bothering him and his not being honest with you.
Its not time to panic yet. Could be work? Family problems? Financial problems? Personal issues? And the worst, cheating? But, we shouldn't make any accusations, because you don't have any proof.
You mentioned you tried to talk to him and he avoids the conversation? The fact that he's ignoring and being defensive is a clear sign that something is up?
The only way to solve this is to talk to him, there's no other way. Try to talk to him again, but make sure is the right time and that he's in a somewhat, good mood. When you approach, try to be calm, and friendly. Tell him what's bothering you and that you want to help and make your relationship better. Clearly both of you are not spending as much time and you are both living seperate lives. Tell him, that you still love him and that you miss the old times. Ask him if there's anything you can do or if there's anything you're doing wrong?
Bottom line, things changed and its not what it used to be and the only way to fix the problem is to have a talk. The sooner you talk to him, the sooner you can make your relationship happier and stronger.
Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2011): if he avoids talking about it then probably he's not in love with you any more but he's just afraid to be alone that's why he doesn't want to break up. beware if this is the case because people like this will stay with you only until they find someone new then they'll dump you.
...............................
|
