A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am with a guy 8 years younger to me for the past few months. Initially everything went well, but lately he started hanging out with his friends more and his freinds are not happy about us cause of the age diff. For the past two days he didnt call and didnt answer my calls also.Today he texted me saying that he needs a break, since he has chnaged after being with me and he doesnt like himself anymore. I was so mad for breaking up with me in the text, i just replied that i am fine with it and he never replied after that and i didnt call him too. My question is, why didnt i see this coming. He was so good to me, whenever i ask abt age diff he said age is just nos and it doesnt bother him. I feel like crap for dating and being dumped by such an young guy.
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female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (23 June 2011):
 Breaking up sucks. It hurts. We feel bad.
Learn from the experience and do not date such immature guys!
Feel glad that he did not waste any MORE of your time!
Get up, dust yourself off, and live life again.
The best revenge is the well-lived life!
Best Wishes.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 June 2011):
 He was immature, that was the problem. It had nothing to do with you or your age, he'd probably do just the same to any other woman he dated!
He changed and doesn't like himself? That's one of the weirdest excuses I've ever heard. If he changed it was probably for the better, and it was still by his choice, thus he always had the choice to change back without it meaning he'd need to dump you. If he doesn't like who he changed into then he's got personal problems, and probably never really liked himself.
My other guess is that he's not confident in himself, and immature enough to let what his buddies say influence him. He'd been hanging out with guys that didn't like you, and they probably convinced him that he needed to leave.
He'll regret it, but don't take him back. He's proven how much of a man he is.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2011): He wasn't good to you when he listened to his friends and dumped you. Your ego has taken a huge hit from this immature little boy. He didn't deserve you. Forget that you were dumped by a younger guy, in fact forget him altogether and get yourself back out there!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2011): He is worried what his friends think and influenced by them, which at that age is not surprising. It's sad that you have broken up but there is someone better out there for you.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 June 2011):
 At some stages in life ,age is far from being just a number , it depends. If you are 45 and he's 37 it could work, but you ,say,28 and he 20 ?... If you did not see it coming, it's just because you closed your eyes on purpose and did not want to see it coming. It's entirely different worlds, expectations, values.
An older guy, say, in his 30s, would not identify himself so totally with his group of friends, would not depend so much upon their approval, would probably not need to spend all or most of his free time with them, and if they were ribbing him about dating an older woman he would either laugh it off - or make them shut up once for all.
But , at 18, or 20 ? For the average youngster friends are everything , peer pressure is powerful, as it is his desire to "belong ".
"He has changed and does not like who he is etc". In translation it simply means that his friends think he is pussywhipped and he should be a free agent rather than spending much time with one woman, particularly if 8 years older than him.
Now, don't go chasing after him- and don't beat yourself up either. There are transitional loves, person and situations that for a while enrich our world, makes us smile, and leave us good memories . Not everything is made to last in time, which does not mean it should not be cherished and appreciated right here and now.
I think this was precisely your case, it was good till it lasted, but - it could not last, and , at some level, deep don, I guess you must have known it...
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (23 June 2011):
 Heh, well he showed his age by breaking up with you via text. I'm thinking his friends put the pressure on him because the whole "I don't like myself anymore" is a creative breakup, but a cop out that hides his true reasons.
The only other reason might be that someone else caught his attention. Either way, he was too immature for you. I understand feeling like crap for being dumped, but don't sweat it that a younger gut did it. You're not old, and he was immature and couldn't stand up to his friends.
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