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female
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*ammy1
writes: Me and my partner have been together for 3 years. A week ago I found he just started being mates with this girl who he talks to with webcam on msn. They have each others' numbers, and he tells her personal things about himself he claims he can't talk to me about. They arrange to meet each other as friends but won't invite me. We decided on taking a break from each other a week ago. I phoned him once to see if he was OK and he didn't like me phoning. I don't know what to think, if I should move on with my life or wait for him. And I don't know if he is seeing this other girl or not. I have a 5 year old boy as well and I don't know what to tell him. Please give me advice on what to do. I'm so confused. Thank you.
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female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (26 August 2005):
 I agree with charlie girl that your partner has handled this quite cruelly. Regardless of how you guys decided to have a break, a level of maturity should have been kept here. The fact that he talks to this new mate is not bad really...alot of guys have good girl mates that they feel more comfortable talking to...it allows them to get a woman's opinion without the possibility of them taking it personally as a result of them not being their girlfriend. That was explained to me by a guy once. Be that as it may...it was not fair to you and was absolutely mean. I don't think you should wait on him...he has decided that it is over already by not taking your calls as usual. Your boy...I know it is going to be hard to answer questions about your relationship...maybe you can try talking to your ex, finding out what is going on for sure like Charlie said and then talking to your boy. Being five if anything changes...poor thing he will be confused. ana
A
female
reader, charliesgirl +, writes (26 August 2005):
Your partner has dealt with this very badly, and from what I can see, somewhat cruelly. It is incredibly hurtful that he feels more comfortable speaking to a relative stranger online than his own partner. You must feel betrayed by his actions. I would be more than suspicious of the fact that he's meeting her and excluding you. Relationships are all about honesty, but there's far too much secrecy in his behaviour for me to think that it's an innocent flirtation.
Was the temporary "break" by mutual agreement? From what you have written, I suspect that this was his decision. The fact that he has disliked your getting touch during the break implies that he's made a decision to end the relationship. Sadly, all his behaviours point towards this- his trying to shift the blame onto you (claiming he "can't talk to you"), the clandestine meetings with this girl and then most recently, his coldness on the phone when you tried to talk. But you still need to know where you stand. Try and get in touch with him and have a serious heart-to-heart. Sadly I suspect he has decided it is over, but you still need to confirm that there isn't a chance.
How have you explained your partner's absence so far to your boy? Over a week, I can imagine he has started asking questions. Until you know for certain what is happening with your partner, can you tell him something along the lines of he's working away, or on holiday etc? If you tell your boy he's left and then he returns it will confuse your son. Once your relationship is confirmed either way you can then decide whether it is necessary to speak to your boy.
I hope it all works out for you
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