A
female
age
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anonymous
writes:First my significant other told me he hates my hair. I have sort of wild curly hair that is hard to control. Now that it has grown longer it is more managable. Lots of people have told me they love my hair and would love to have curly hair so that then they wouldn't have to get perms. Then he pointed out to me that my neck is aging.But, then he will turn around and tell me that I am beautiful.It's a mixed bag. It almost seems passive aggressive.I never point out flaws in his physical features. I tell him I love him just the way he is.He will say how old looking some celebrity is like Jane Seymour and the he would never go after anything that looks like that. Personally, I think Jane is a class act and a classy lady. He said he would go after a younger anchorwoman and pointed one out to me on TV.He said fat woman turn him off. He likes them thin. He told me if I gained weight he wouldn't make love to me like he has been. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (6 April 2013):
 I agree with Tisha...definitely call him out on his inappropriate comments. He sounds like a bit of a male chauvenist pig to be honest.
It's just not right to insult your lady and make her feel bad about herself...it's controlling behaviour aimed at undermining the relationship.
Next time he starts getting picky and naming hot women he's like to have sex with, tell him the door is always open if he wants to leave!
I am pretty sure most younger women would not give him a second look!!
Stand up to him, tell him that his comments are hurtful and ask him directly why he is doing such a thing!!
Hope you get an answer that satisfies you xxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2013): Maybe it is time you started doing the same back to him. Point put his flaws and all. Then he might realize how awful it feels to be on the receiving end and quit doing it. And if not then you should consider leaving him as this is very disrespectful and might also he controlling if he is doing it on purpose to break your spirit.
Whatever you do, do NOT stay in this relationship if it continues to be like this.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2013): I went out with a guy once and this what he said: I know a good hairdresser that can help you( I also have long very curly hair, that no matter what I do when it's humid, and we live near the ocean, get freeze,mi think that's what he ment by helping me), that was one thing. Then he pointed to a much younger girl and told me that I'm a different generation, and probably could be her mother. I know how old I am, 39, and I know I look great for my age. That girl was in her mid twenties, there is noway I could be her mother, even if I tried very hard. Then he said he likes really thin girls. I'm far from being thin. We met at the beach, he saw me in my mini beach dress, and asked for my phone. Why to even mention that he likes thin girls when I m obviously not. I m not overweight or even close to it., but I m deffinitely not VERY thin. After 2 hours of talking he came very close and wanted to touch me. I wanted to tell him that his breath smells bad, and he is too thin for my taste, and there is something wrong with his ears, he looked like a creature from a forest with those pointy ears. I said nothing, I just excused myself and left.He is not the only idiot I went on a date with.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (5 April 2013):
 You love a snarky snippy judgmental man? Obviously, you don't like him when he makes comments like that, if you did, you wouldn't be posting here, right?
Tell him when he's put his foot in it.
How long have you been with him? You call him your SO, so maybe it's a recent relationship? Especially with the comments about the weight and aging.
Tune him out, call him out on it or leave. What other options do you think you have?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2013): He acts very silly and making you upset for no reason. Doesn't he age also. We all age, but I don't want to hear it especially from a man who I have sex with. He is also very negative. He projects the future where you are all of sudden fat and he is not making love to you anymore. Why to even come up with things like . I tell things to my husband sometimes like to put moisturizer under his eyes, as he started to get lots of wrinkles there. But I don't tell him, you are so wrinkley. I just ask him to moisturizer it, that's all.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 April 2013):
 Let me start with we are in the same age range. My hair is curly, my husband hates it curly but he also hates it long and he makes no bones about disliking it… so I feel your pain there.
Your neck probably is aging and you are beautiful to him, I don’t see this as passive aggressive. My husband says I’m passive aggressive all the time (except when I’m actually BEING that way on purpose, then he doesn’t’ get it)
To me passive aggressive behavior is when I tell my husband “yeah I’ll do that” and then I deliberately don’t do it . ADHD folks are often thought of as PA because we FORGET to do things… that’s not PA that’s ADHD… saying you will do something (like take out the trash) and then not doing it to punish them (but not tell them that’s what you are doing) is passive aggressive behavior. Showing up late (on purpose) is passive aggressive behavior.
I don’t see how your SO is being anything other than honest in his eyes. It’s not nice but it’s not PA
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2013):
Hmm next time Tom cruise comes on telly, say innocently ooe all my friends think he gorgeous .. That's the kinda guy girls want !! Then wait on a reaction .
Tell him you love your hair, you love the fact that your growing mature with grace and if he doesn't like then that's his issues not yours.. Say hmm your not getting any younger yourself top gun.. And when he points out younger women laugh, I would say what fantasy world are you in . Lol do not let him make you feeling crap. Stand up for yourself don't let mat be printed on your forehead or he may start wiping his feet..
Take care .
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2013): Jabe Seymour is an elegant and stunning woman and she has aged beautifully! She is over 60 years old and looks better than many women in their mid-40's.
Personally, I don't think there is a problem with you or Jane Seymour. I think your significant other needs to have his eyes and his ego checked.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2013): I know the type. I went out with a man & he insulted me four times during the evening. Those type of people can damage your self esteem. I'd let him know you don't appreciate his put downs. Don't let him get away with talking to you like that.
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