A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hi aunts and uncles,I hope you can give me some insight to this. My partner of 3 years never believes a word I say. Ever. I have never cheated on him but he doesn't believe me if I tell him what I did at the weekend/evening or even any time at all in the day he will call me a liar. The worst part of this is he lies CONSTANTLY ?Do you think there is anyway to sort this out or do you think I should call it a day?
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male
reader, idoneitagain +, writes (22 June 2011):
"Should I call it a day" is not really the right question. Most people will advise you to call it a day as they wouldn't see the logic behind staying with someone who is a liar, and who constantly manipulates you by calling you a liar all the time. There is no trust in this relationship and trust is a fundamental part of any relationship that is going to be successful.
The real questions are:
Why have you been happy to accept being in a relationship with a liar and someone who doesn't trust you?
Why do you think you need our advice on this issue, I am sure you already know what is good for you?
Why have you not been able to resolve this issue with your partner? Are you able to communicate well in the relationship?
What is it that keeps you in a relationship with a liar, despite it being impossible to manage a relaionshp without trust?
A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (21 June 2011):
Calling you a liar, when you have no history of lying with him...is a form of abuse and a sign of HIS insecurity.
If you know HE is lying, he could be doing what psychologists call "transferance" which is a way of shifting the blame/guilt from himself to you.
Call it a day on this dysfunctional relationship. You do not have to put up with it.
Best Wishes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2011): Definitely call it a day. Don't take any more of this nonsense.
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A
female
reader, StarryEyes101 +, writes (21 June 2011):
Call it a day hun. Those kind of people will drag you down. They do it for attention. My friend is exactly the same. She lies about EVERYTHING! Even what she is having for dinner. But she has got so many people into trouble with others with her random Bull. Leave him you'll be better off. Theres no trust there x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2011): People who lie don't believe people who tell the truth.
They can't, they lie all the time and assume everyone does, or does it a lot.
They need a lot of counseling, people lie for deep seated emotional issues, sometimes they have been damaged beyond the point of having any capability of being honest ever again.
The big question is why you would stay with a pathological liar for 3 years?
Don't go on in the relationship without heavy duty long term counseling for both of you, he will probably need more than just couples counseling though.
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