A
female
age
41-50,
*essedupmind
writes:i've been with my partner for 3yrs now and we have 3 kids between us. i love him more than anything despite him having cheated many times. i'd never want to hurt him. thing is, more and more stuff is irritating me about him and he never just hugs me or kisses me etc i have to ask and then its like its a chore for him. now i've got to know someone else who makes me feel like i'm the most special woman hes ever met and i like this guy too. i've tried talking to my partner about showing me more affection etc but i've just been ignored. i don't know whether to call it a day with him and give this other guy a chance. i really do love my partner (i've never even kissed anyone else)but i can't help thinking i'm worth more than this. help!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, PsyCookie  +, writes (27 July 2008):
 At least he's good with the children, which is a plus. And I'm so glad you're not like those women that try to involve the children in the problems.
You may not feel you're not strong enough, but I bet that there will be a lot of people who will be there to pick you up if you fall down. Talk to your family and friends and ask them to help you out on this. I bet there will be many hands extended to give you help.
Thanks for updating! I hope next time you do things will be better.
A
female
reader, messedupmind +, writes (26 July 2008):
messedupmind is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank u for replying. i know what u say is right, its the same as my family and friends say. he IS good with the kids so i would never stop him seeing them. i'm just not one of those women. i know i have to do something about this situation but i don't think i'm quite strong enough yet. i know soon i will be. i'll let you all know of how things progress. again, thank you xxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, bellasmommy +, writes (26 July 2008):
im the same way! my man couldnt care LESS about me! You should leave him, its clear he doesnt care for you. and if you met another man whom makes you feel good.. GO FOR IT!
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A
female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (26 July 2008):
You're worth more than this!! This guy does NOT deserve you. He has cheated you several times, even after having children with you! How would you want your children having this kind of dad as a role model? A guy who cheats on his wife and neglets her and possible them?
You have to leave this man. He's not a good husband to you and you shouldn't deserve to put up with his crap. You may love him so much, but he clearly doesn't love you at all. I really don't think you will hurt him by leaving him, but you will infuriate him because he'll feel losing control over you. The only reason why this guy may be with you is because he feels he has power over you since he has cheated many times and you're still with him. Really, just leave him and take the kids. I hope you have a stable job because you have to appeal to the courts to get the kids, but a good thing is that they mostly side with the mother.
I know he's the father of your children and you feel that he should be in their lives because of that, but I want to ask you something: Is he really involved in their lives? Does he show them affection? If your answer is a truthful yes, then at least try to involve him in their lives, but not in yours.
Now after you have left him, you could give this new guy a chance, but try to take things slow. Try to see what this guy truely feels about you. Try to see if he gets along with your children and see if he accepts you with them.
Good luck and I hope your life gets better. Keep us informed please.
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