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His constant praise and putting me on a pedestal has killed my libido.

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 July 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 26 July 2008)
A female Canada age 41-50, anonymous writes:

i am in head over heels in love with my boyfriend of 1 year and i truly believe we will grow old together. the only problem is that he practically worships the ground that i walk on. (he has repeatedly said "i worship you" and other gushy nonsense)

He is constantly fawning all over me- when we are at home after work he will not get OFF of me! We live together and sometimes he will just stare at me. He constantly tells me I am beautiful and is constantly kissing my ass- we argue every once and while but it usually has to do with me pushing him away (sometimes phyiscally most of the time emotionally).

His constant praise and putting me on a pedestal has killed my libido. I feel so guilty because he treats me so well and yet for this very reason, I have lost any sexual desire I once I had.

I want to be in this relationship but I need help with dealing with him. He technically is not doing anything wrong. What can I do?!?!

View related questions: kissing, libido

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (26 July 2008):

LazyGuy agony auntWhat is amusing is that a few posts away there is a woman complaining that he doesn't show enough affection. Maybe you two could meet up and swap?

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A male reader, xoen United States +, writes (26 July 2008):

xoen agony auntDear Anonymous,

I feel you may need a guys opinions in here. I do just about the same thing to my girlfriend of 1 year and 3 months. I tell her constantly that she is the most beautiful person in the world to me. To me she is, at least all together. Yes there are much more physically attractive girls out there, but my girlfriend is also mentally beautiful if that makes any sense. I do not worship the ground she walks on like your boyfriend but I used to be clingy. Not to sound perverted or dirty but men tend to like being all over there girl friends, it comes with being horny. I do know however that if you have to physically push your boyfriend away then it may and possibly is a problem. I do not know why receiving affection is wrong where as I believe you should see your self lucky due to the fact that you could be in an abusive relationship or some other kind of relationship. I would like to help you or anyone who may have the same problem. I am a bit like your boyfriend. I just do not worship the ground she walks on, I do stare into her eyes when we lay together, never staring at her like a piece of art. If anyone would like to talk further about this my E-mail is [email address blocked] and if you send me a E-mail please place a subject of Agony Aunt. I hope I may of been some help. (This is all souly my opinion)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2008):

i completely understand what your talking about. my bf is the same way. everyone is always giving me this "you're so lucky to have him" bs and i can't stand it. try to tell him to man up, but chances are it is his personality and he will never change. i think your better off to let him go before its too late, but i would also suggest you guys stay friends or possibly only take a break rather than end it just in case after you see what else is out there you decide he was the right one for you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2008):

I don't see the problem personally having been treated like

shit in the past I appreciate my man's adoration. If he's clingy tell him you need space but don't complain that he's too good to you consider yourself lucky you have someone who appreciates you

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2008):

I ave two problems with the story:

Firstly you feel that you do not deserve to be treated like this. Nonsense, of course you do! Many girls would kill to be desired like that!

Secondly, maybe he might be a bit clingy. Encourage him to go out with his friends from time to time, and to get a hobby. Occupying himself with other things might give you a break!

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