A
female
age
36-40,
*oung_mum
writes:I feel as though my partner is very critical of me. Little things like, for instance, not washing his clothes correctly or forgetting something from the store, cause him to blow up and make comments like “I ask you to do one thing and you can’t even do it”. It upsets me because I feel like I do alot for him. I’m a stay at home Mum and housewife, we have 2 small children and he is not expected to contribute towards household chores in any way. I’m not asking if I’m being reasonable, because on this topic I know I am – it’s wrong of him to be so disrespectful and rude to me when I do so much. I would like to hear from others with husbands / partners who act in a similar way. Just so I know I’m not the only one, I suppose! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007): Hi Love,I had a husband who acted this way, shirts were not ironed properly, He gave me a low budget for food and I had to give him my wage, I worked nights, He expected good meals everyday of the week, He ran our home like an army camp and was very verbally and phycically aggresive disrecpectful and rude all the time towards me and our children, He couldnt handle resposability at all. All he talked about was the morgage and bills and how the children drained his bank accounts.Your not wrong love walking on eggshells everyday is not a very nice life.I took this for 10yrs untill I just stopped been his fool, I worked for my children untill I left 3yrs later.CONTROL! I didnt want that life.. I was 20 when we married and 33 when I left, over the years I got stronger and as much as I tryed during that time the more he put me down..Talk with your husband if he will listen hunny if he wants to save his marraige as you are young and you will slowly get more and more down untill you have a very deep depression try and get him to counselling, There must be a reason for this behaviour my husband used to be in the army and was used to barking orders, But your not a soldier your a wife who needs love and respect to keep a family going, If he wont go, Get some help for you, For your confidence I no you dont want your marraige to end I didnt, Can you see this in 10yrs time... you really need someone to talk with love, I hope he does listen and you get help with this looking after 2 children and household chores are more than a days work, Dont leave it to long help yourself now. TAKE CARE OF YOU LOTS OF LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A
female
reader, hotty  +, writes (19 September 2007):
hi there. its good that you recognise that the way he treats you is disrespectful, but even tho he makes you feel this way the question you really have to ask yourself is do you still love him? i was in an 8 year marriage and have 3 children and also worked full time and still had to pick up after my ex and the kids. things came to a head when i asked myself if my husband really loved me. in my opinion love is about give and take and about sharing resposibilities.have you spoken to your husband about how it makes you feel, being a full time mum is hard work at the best of times, but that what comes from having and as women we accept that, your husband is a fully grown man who needs to fix up and look sharp and stop treating you like this. I also have a question for you and that is why do you put up with it?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007): Hiya, I am a stay at home mom with 2 young children too so I know exactly how difficult it is to get things done and also how your memory is never the same as it was before you had children.Your partner, like mine goes out to work and comes home with certain expectations however your partners are too high and you need to bring him down a peg or two.Its difficult for men to understand how home life is when they are away at work, they seem to think we get on with the chores and only deal with the children when they cry or need feeding.My advise would be to book yourself in at a hairdressers on a day when your husband has to be at home with the children, leave him a list of chores (not as long as yours, cuz he will never cope) and see how he gets on.This will give him a tiny few hours insight into your everyday life.You need to make your husband see that just bringing the money home is not enough, don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. Why should he come home and his working day end, when does yours? exactly, even once the children are in bed you are expected to deal with their needs.My partner now says nothing when he returns home from work, except for asking what my day has been like and if the children have behaved. It is a lesson well learnt.
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