A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Help! I'm lacking in self confidence and my partner has started making me even more insecure about myself. When we first met over 4 1/2 years ago, I was a size 10/12 ,my hair was shoulder length and I wore glasses and at the time felt quite confident within myself. Fast forward 4 years, I have a 2 year old child and I'm now a size 14/16, still have shoulder length hair and I still wear glasses but have 0 confidence.After the birth of my daughter I piled on the pounds and have found it very difficult to shift the weight ever since. My partner told me he loves me and that the extra weight doesn't bother him and that he found me very attractive. I did believe him at the time, and then I found out that he had cheated on me throughout our entire relationship. We are trying to work through things but recently he has said some really hurtful things. He has called me a "fat b***h" and has told me that I'm ugly. To top if off he now keeps asking why do I have to wear glasses and because I wear my hair tied back alot he now has decided its not for him. I'm very depressed, I have had a terrible 18 months, I've been in hospital and spent the best part of the year having follow up appointments and to top it all off I find out the man I want to spend my life with was cheating on me. And he doesn't stop there, he plays on my insecurites and brings me further down. What should I do? could he possible love me and treat me like crap. awaiting advice. thanx.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008): Great post. It's interesting to know that building a href="http://www.confidencebuildingcourses.com"self-confidence/a can be as easy as ABC. Interestingly enough, a href="http://www.confidencebuildingcourses.com"www.confidencebuildingcourses.com/a offer good tips too. Might be interesting to check it out.
A
female
reader, caraduddy +, writes (22 August 2008):
 Speek to a counciller or someone. Someone who focuses in this point. He doesn't seem good for you if he puts you down. You deserve a happy relationship. Being unfaithful isnt good either. Either have a serious conversation with him explaining how he's making you feel. Or think about your options. If you dont speak with him things could stay the same
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008): Sweetie...Please, take your daughter and run for the door....when he get's tired of hurting you, he will turn on your lovely daughter. HE is the one with confadince problems, and just want to have company in his misary. You sound like a darling woman, and you deserve so much, much more. As for getting your confidence back, there are some free counsaling for abbused women, and yes sweetie... You ARE being abused. Please know that I will pray for you and your daughter. Please PM me if you need to talk, or just a shoulder to cry on....
~~The GabberJack
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A
female
reader, chloe71z  +, writes (22 August 2008):
 Talk to your family let them know your intentions and if they can help you threw it. Leave him be shure you take the child with you. Go to your parents or a trusted friend. Either way you need to get out of that relationship. Its not healthy to be treated that way by anybody. Get a lawyer and file for custidy of your child, so he cant take her from you. Oh last but not least Pray about what ever you decide to do that way you know God will be in it with you and ask him to help you threw this difficult time of your life. I know when my ex-husband left me all I could do was pray for this to happen or for that to happen but in the end it all turned out after I told God tell me what you want me to do and Ill do it. Then God blessed me and my daughter with the answers that we needed.As far as the selfesteem that I lost during the time I was with my Ex-husband. It has taken some time to get it back but only with alot of support from friends and family. You can do it I belive in you. Left me know if I you need Anything. You can PM me if you want. I hope this helps
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A
male
reader, pursuit of happiness +, writes (22 August 2008):
I think he is either trying to get you to break up with him or more likely he is just using these tactics to get you to stay with him and not look elsewhere, these kind of abusive relationships are very common and have a very, very long history. You can do better!
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