A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'll try to make this brief. My partner and I flirted with having an "open" relationship. It was more his idea than mine; he has a very strong fantasy about me sleeping with other men. The inevitable has happened and I have fallen in love with the man I was sleeping with, and he with me. My relationship with my partner has always been "safe" but we have always been very very different and do not have anything in common except our children, and I have never been physically attracted to him. The man I am in love with is on my wavelength in EVERY way. My partner does not know I am still seeing the other man; I told him I wanted to stop the sleeping around thing (he was NOT happy but accepted it reluctantly). My question is - what is the "RIGHT" sort of love? I love my partner because he is the father of my children. I suppose I love him in a brotherly kind of way, really. The thought of hurting him by leaving is unthinkable, but the thought of not seeing the man I have fallen in love with is equally painful. He is (and I know it is an over-used phrase but in this case it is true) my soulmate. Please help me make the right decision. I do care for my partner but how can I live the rest of my life without the sort of passion and connection I have with my lover??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2007): You said your partner was mad when you told him you wanted to stop sleeping around. S0 I don't see what the problem would be with telling him you're still seeing this other man, it was his idea in the 1st place. As far as the other man goes, are you sure it would work out because it started as you just having sex with him because your partner wanted you to. Would this other man be able to respect you? Is he going to want an open relationship as well?? I don't see why anyone would even want an open relationship.
A
female
reader, goodlistener +, writes (11 June 2007):
Hi honey,to me it sounds like you have a couple of options.You can forget about this other man and get on with your life, loveless.Or you can explain to your partner and be happy. I know you don't want to hurt him, but really it is his fault. What sort of man says he wants an open relationship and doesn't expect you to find someone who you deserve. I understand that you feel gulity about him being your childrens dad, but if you carry on unhappy children do sense it. Its not like they are not gonna have a mum and dad. This makes me wonder though....is there another reason for him to wanting an open relationship, like him being attracted to someone else and just thought if you do it he can.Good luck honey, let me know how you get on xxxx.
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