A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My partner of 5 years had a "fling" or something with a much younger woman. He says nothing happened but I know he has texted her and talked on his mobile.After I found out about this, We both went away on holiday togehter to sort out our relationship and he said he had made the right choice and wanted to be with me -not her.He still has a PIN number on his mobile so I can never get a chance to take a look and is always texting somebody or other...although he never goes away now at weekends.The other day, I got a look at his photographs on his mobile and saw he had taken a few of himself (just facial nothing naked)....but why would a man do this?He says he loves me and has recently taken me abroad for a long weekend and spent a lot of money on me...but there is something niggling me.- am I just paranoid?
View related questions:
money, on holiday, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, AdamPayseno  +, writes (23 April 2007):
 I'm abit like you... Jealousy and Paranoia really can be a pain in my backside.
Some guys like to take pictures, so you don't have to worry about why a guy would do that.. As for him sending the pictures to another girl... That's different..
Have you sat him down.. Maybe let him put his arms around you, and just told him that it's bothering you, maybe ask for a little re-assurance from him?
You never know, He might even let you look at his phone.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2007): I am the writer of the question and I know the photographs are very recent as i looked at the properties of them.He did send her photographs, but he was " blowing kisses" in them - these are just normal pictures.I am so tempted to do the same to him, to see how he feels, when i start texting all the time, going out the room with my mobile all the time.- although he probably wont bother as he says he doesn't do jealousy. - i do though.i have this girls phone number - but by now there could be someone else for all i know.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2007): You are not paranoid. You need to tell your husband how you feel and ask him to make his mobile phone open. Come clean about not being able to be sure that he has fully given the other person up. Tell him that you will need to check his phone on demand for a while. Ask to see who messages are from and what he is sending when you notice him doing it. It is not something that you will always need to do, but he needs to be open with you and not have any secrets. You need to see him doing that willingly, he owes that to you.
It could be considered an invasion of his privacy, but while he is making up to you he should be able to see that it is necessary for you to trust him 100%. Since he has already betrayed you and lied, it is not unreasonable to ask for this reassurance. It is his fault that you are insecure and not yours, therefore he must do whatever he can to help you. It is now his responsibility to demonstrate that he has changed and to make you completely certain, this means work and effort and as much reassurance as you need.
He could have taken the photos any time? He may have used them during the affair.
If he is very defensive and will not do it, you have your answer. You will probably have to investigate further.
...............................
|
