A
female
age
41-50,
*inks
writes:please help. I love my partner, but he loves watching she males all the time and he stimulates watching them. Its breaking my heart. Itold him to stop and he says its normal and wont stop. I have just had a baby and feel down.Is he right to do this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2008): Hey Links,
Your not the only pregnant lady to be in this situation. It might be a way of your partner getting closer to you. I know it's difficult to get your head around. But men say something about it being more woman than a woman.
Imagine a woman and a man.. Well the closest he can get to her is by putting his penis inside of her. Now with a shemale, he can be everything. He can imagine himself as being inside a woman's body.. Not only can he be himself (man with penis) but imaging himself with breasts, woman's features, the whole works, and then being making love to a woman. Well that's just a close as he can get to imaging what it would be like to be that close to a woman and remain a man. I've probably confused you, but that's the explanations that I have picked up from how men feel about she-males. Since I've noticed that this becomes interesting when women are pregnant, I've decided it's a symptom of men actually wanting to get closer to you and be inside you, just like the baby was. It's not possible, so he tries to understand his feelings for you in the only way he can. Hence his interest in she-males, getting closer to a woman, but still remaining a man....
Anyway, your not alone. Here is another woman who was pregnant and found her husband looking at shemales as well. Hopefully this will help you understand...
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-knew-that-he-watches-porn-before-we.html
A
female
reader, links +, writes (1 October 2008):
links is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for advice.i will take note.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2008): Hi babes,
Your husband is normal, self-pleasuring, using porn for sex relief, being attracted by strange and wonderful things, everything is normal.. Pregnancy is a very stressful time, for you, and for him. He is just taking some time out to fantasize about things that are far from reality. Yes it is "escapist" behaviour, much more fun that the reality of nappies and crying babies. Please talk to him, tell him you miss him and be clear about what you want. If you want him to change nappies then tell him, if you want him to bath the baby then tell him. If you want him to hold you tight, then tell him. Don't fight about his porn thing, because that will make him upset and uptight. Just tell him what you need, tell him you are confused, because if he likes porn, if he likes she-males, what is he doing with you and a baby. Listen to his answers and take them on board. He won't lie to you, he will tell you the truth about what he's feeling and why he feels the need to do this. Pregnancy is a strain on both women and men, but you can do active things, you can breastfeed, you can talk to the doctors, you have other pregnant women to support you. He feels alone, he is confused, he is a father, but he's not sure what to do. You and your baby seem so happy, both of you together loving each other. For men, they can't find a way to fit in, they feel left out and so they revert to strange behaviour and start acting like a single man. Talk to him, find ways to include him in your time with the baby and everything should work out and you two will start to be close loving adults again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2008): It's downright insensitive of him to be doing this just after you've had a baby if you ask me. Or any time really, unless it turns you on too. You are probably feeling very emotional after giving birth too which will prevent you from a more reasonable perspective on this selfish escapist behaviour of his. Get him to change some nappies and decorate the nursery, he's got too much time on his hands. Does he always behave like this?
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