A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My partner, the father of my son, lives over 100 miles away, he has his own business, homes, social life. i live as a single mum of 3, aged 20months, 7 and 10, in a council flat, on income support. Although he buys me things, he seems reluctant to have us live as a family, he wont take full fincial or emotional responsibility for us, and says i want too much, just because he is well off. I know he works hard, but so do i, and i feel a relationship is about being together and sharing things, good and bad. I see him once a week, for maybe 2 days if i am lucky. He complains about how i dicipline the children, and critisises their behaviour, says my house could be tider, and causes countless rows over silly things like how much sugar they have, when he feeds his own son, from a previous relationship on harribo's and cake. I try to end it, and he but he just askes for everything he has given me back, and when that fails he makes empty promises of a better life. HELP Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2007): O.K. why does he think he even has the right to tell you how to feed your children & etc. when he isn't around to do it himself or to help out? This guy sounds like a typical rich a**hole. You need to get all you can out of him, maybe string him along until you get what you need to be able to live with out his financial support (other than child support)
A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (9 June 2007):
 I dont understand why your partner who is the father of one of your children is living so far away from you and the son? Surely he would want to see his son more regularly than 2 days a week?
What sort of father is he?
To be honest he cant take back anything that he has given you, he has no legal stand point anyway. The things which he has given you were given under the assumption of them being gifts or things needed to bring up his child, which you sound like your doing most of anyway.
It sounds like you can do better if he is not willing to put in the emotional support that you need, let alone financial support.
He sounds like he wants the best of both worlds, but realistically that cant happen, not with a child to support anyway.
If he cant support you and the child more than he is doing without the threats hanging over you than i would suggest you making your intentions clear to him as he is not being a supporting figure in his childs life at the moment.
Maybe seek help from a local authority to find out what more support you can expect if any.
R
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2007): any gifts he has given you are just that-gifts. as for HIS children he is a selfish cowardly man keeping this hold over you without committing fully to you or the children. you need to sort out your finances legally, make sure he is paying his way after getting you pregnant 3 times and leaving you, then you must leave and stay strong.
you're in an awful situation and i hope things improve,
good luck and take care
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