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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been with my partner for 5 years we have lived together for 4. We love each other very much but everytime we talk about marriage we hit a brick wall. He says he loves me and wants to be with me but tells me he just isn't ready. I'm happy to take things slowly as I don't want to rush him. I've even suggested a long engagement. Planning a future together is important to me and I want to take the next step. Every time we talk about it I get so upset as no matter how many times we've discussed it we still find ourselves at the same place. He is always telling me one day. It's beginning to be a bit of an obsession with me. Is it wrong that wanting the relationship to move on is so important to me? I now feel like I am compromising my feelings and I just can't go on like this. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to force him into something he doesn't want, I don't want to feel like this anymore and I definitely don't want to lose him. I'm so confused.
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reader, becky05 +, writes (30 June 2005):
If this is making you upset you have to try and talk to him about it again. tell him exactly how you feel. tell him that you dont want to remain unmarried forever and that if he cant show his commitment now then you have different goals in life and is it really sensible to stay together. Dont rush him into anything though as this may make him resentful.
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