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My partner and his ex-wife are still texting daily! How much is too much?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 August 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 4 August 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My partner and his ex-wife still texting daily

Hi, can anyone tell me if I am worrying unnecessarily or if I don't really get it?!

I met my partner at work. We the. Started going out socially and then just on our own and that's how our relationship developed. He never once mentioned that he was married, and I didn't think to ask as he regular,ly talked about his ex, whom he split up with years ago! I had been seeing him every weekend and most nights when he told me after 6 months! So I ended it there and then.

Fast forward 18 months and we met again and he was now separated. He had a flat and it was his wife who had ended their marriage! He told me that he lived a very seperate life while married which suited them both. They liked different things, and had nothing in common but weed good friends. They have a 17 year old child.

We have been seeing each other now for two years since he was separated. In that time they have become divorced, and she has met someone new and she is now aware that I am in his life. Their 17 year old gets on very well with her new boyfriend, and I have met him also.

That's the background. What I would like to ask is, what is your take on the fact that they text daily? He says it's always to do with their child, but he slips up sometimes and tells me they've been texting about funny things. I personally can't believe they need to text to 'make arrangements' to see his son, and he sees him twice a week at her house (which used to be theirs) and he stays for tea!

I actually like it that they get along, there are too many bad examples of toxic re,autos hips between ex partners BUT how much is too much?

View related questions: at work, divorce, ex-wife, his ex, split up, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2015):

That is ridiculous. He can text his child (who is nearly an adult anyway) directly. The contact they have is too frequent it's as if they just can't quite let go. Have you seen any of these texts? Are they flirty? Might be time to sort this out once and for all.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (4 August 2015):

Honeypie agony auntTexting EVERY day? Yeah, I think that is way over the top. It shows two people who aren't ready or willing to let each other go entirely.

My husband has an ex-wife, while their shared kids are now in their 20's, he never talked to her on a daily basis - even when the kids were smaller. He might call her, but that was mainly to talk to the kids. She might call him, but that was usually to demand extra funds for the kids.

They DO have each other on FB - but have not really talked much on there either.

I think it's nice that he sees his son twice a week and stay for dinner (tea?) but honestly... I would not want to date a man who puts that much energy into an ex. Texting and eating together twice a week? bit much for me.

Plus the "child" is 17. He could text the "kid" directly and arrange things. The mom doesn't HAVE to partake in their arrangements.

I'd hate to be the 3rd wheel in my own relationship.

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