A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My family and my partner hate each other and its got to the point where i'm in a position where i feel they are both making me choose between them. what can i do as its getting me depressed and majorly stressed out. I have already had to take a month off work because it was making me ill.
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female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (15 March 2007):
 What a horrible way for your family to behave! They should have respected your choice seeing as you're a grown up woman. I would be furious with my family if they behaved this way.
Were they very protective of you before you moved out also?
Maybe you could write a letter to your parents telling them how you feel about it. If they have it in writing they can read it through a couple of times so that they will get the point.
Perhaps you can spend next xmas with your boyfriend and his family, just to make a point to your folks. But this kind of action can easily turn into a stupid war, so think it through before you do anything.
Sooner or later your family needs to settle with the fact that your boyfriend is here to stay. Two years together would make you an established couple. Besides, what would happen if you would decide to get married? Would your parents not show up to the wedding just to make a point of how they don't like you living with your boyfriend?!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI get on with his family and they are so happy for us. None of my family want to meet him. It all started because i moved in with him only after a few months. They wanted me to wait but i didn't. I have lived with him for nearly 2 years now and its been great. They were not interested from day one and i thought it would get better. I eventually got my mum to meet him at a restaurant for dinner but that was disastrious as they both voiced their opinions which got out of hand. My dad has never met him and he doesn't even know where i live. They still want me to come round and spend family time with them but i don't want to but feel guilty about it. I love my partner to pieces and he has never done anything wrong. I feel as if im betraying him because i still speak to them (sort of!) He has never been invited out with them and they still try to come to our house. Christmas has been awful on both occasions. I'm so stressed with this as my family don't seem to understand what they are doing.
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A
male
reader, imnicebuttdim +, writes (15 March 2007):
Hi,I feel for you as I am in a similar position to yourself and at the moment I am finding it hard and very stressful. I am 26 years old and feel like I am 46. my partner gets on well with her family and they are ok with her being with me. but she doesn't get on with my family and it has caused a rift between us.I am taking time to get my thoughts and think it would be best if i spent time away from my partner and my family but I am too close to everyone so not sure what I am going to do yet.
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