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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I am an adult woman who is still currently living with my parents while I'm still in college. My issue is my parents are very nosey and are always wanting to be in my business and I don't really understand why. This has start to become very stressful for me. They both always want to know who I'm talking to, where I'm going when I go out, if I stay out overnight they don't like it, they question me about everything and it makes me uncomfortable. And then my father and mother tell each other everything about me/what they know. My mother will also listen in on my phone calls at times. They are both what I consider gossipers. I just feel like my privacy is very much invaded, and there are some things in my life I like to keep private and to myself. I have tried talking to my parents twice now about how I feel and nothing has changed. Why do they do this and what can I do? I don't like this Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Abella  +, writes (7 July 2015):
 Kendle's advice was spot on.
If you can possibly take Kendle's advice and move out and share it will be a big change. It may not have as much comfort as at home but it sure would beat having people listen in on your phone calls. That is just rude and disrespectful.
Your parents don't seem to comprehend respectful boundaries.
They seem to have you as their big focus. Perhaps you could encourage them to consider a couple of hobbies.
If their lives consumed them more with some hobbies then they would not have the time to live their lives through you. It sounds as if they are trying to manage your life for you.
It is time you started making your own mistakes and learning and growing from that. Instead they hover over you like a pair of mother hens.
I am sure they care, but their intrusions are heavy handed.
You are not their little girl, you are an adult. Yes it is their home. But three adults live in the home and Nice adults don't try to overhear other people's phone conversations.
A
female
reader, Kendle  +, writes (7 July 2015):
 Yes I can see how very frustrating that must be but I can also understand their desire to want to know everything going on with their daughter, even if their methods of finding out aren't the most moral. I moved out when I was 18 because I hated living with my parents. I now have a much better relationship with them both and even though I only visit once or twice a year, I speak to my mam on the phone every week and even when I do go to visit, things are much better. Why don't you look for a place of your own? Perhaps you could get a part-time job to help you afford it. Move in with friends if you can't afford somewhere completely on your own or look at sites where you join others who are housesharing. Until you do, I think you are always going to have these issues. Your parents clearly think they have a right to know this information, and since it's their house and you are their daughter I would agree that they do. The listening in on your phone calls though I think is taking it way too far even for a mother.
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