A
female
age
41-50,
*argh
writes: Hi everyone-I'm having a bit of a conflict with my parents in regard to my boyfriend. We have been together for three years and lived together for two. He is 33 and I am 27. Neither of us is really concerned about marriage, we are together and content for now. I don't think my parent are to excited about our laid back attitude towards traditional (ceremonial) commitment. Well, we have agreed to disagree for the most part, but it does affect some parts of our relationship.For instance, the holidays are fast approaching, and my parents are planning on spending Christmas 4 hours away at their Cabin in Colorado. I would like to join them there, but I am being met with some resistance. If my boyfriend and I were to come, my mother has made it clear that she would not have us sleep in the same room. This seems ridiculous to me, as we sleep in the same room every other night. She claims that is would be different if we were married, but I can't understand what difference a certificate on a piece of paper would make. We are loving and committed regardless. My mother has also admitted that she feels differently about it because I am the daughter. That is may be primeval, but it this was coming from my brother she might not feel the same.Long story short, I want to spend the holidays with my family, but do not want to wrestle with their conservative ideas. The most frustrating part about it is that they both were hippies to the max a mere 35 years ago. They both lived with each other, and also previous partners before marriage. My dad used to try to get my little old catholic Gran high! The point is, what gives? And how should I approach this situation constructively towards the best outcome?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (9 October 2008):
Their roof their rules. You decide whether spending Christmas with your family is worth a couple of nights sleeping apart from your boyfriend. By the way I was a hippie back in the day and when my daughter visited us this summer with her new boyfriend I made them sleep in separate rooms too.
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