A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my parents seem to hate me. i mean some times are really good and i really love them but others they just seem to hate me. i always argue with my mum and she always gets me down. according to her i can't do anything right. 'i'm fat, i am stupid' etc. its always my faults which are mentioned. i have a brother and sister who are younger who are treated completely differently. they get away with murder. one of them is in their teens and the other is ten. they are always spoke to civilly whereas i am always shouted at. i am sick of always being treated differently and i don't know what to do about it. i have tried to talk to my mum and dad civilly about it but they always end up saying that they don't treat me differently. when my boyfriend stood up for me the other day and said that they do treat me differently and don't listen they said it was because i have nothing of importance to say ever which is why they never listen. they also told me that the sooner i am gone the better. i don't know what to do. please help. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (28 September 2010):
 As a mother with a '23' yr old still at home, studying,(supposidly) on his xbox or laptop all day, I think that it could be just the age. When you are at school you get supported but once youve left then parents expect you to get a job and support yourself. It can become a strain and all i do is constantly (nag) try to encourage my son to get up and do something with his life. Its just a difficult time from child to adulthood and your parents may want you to do more, like donate to the household etc. The boyfriend has overstepped the mark by putting in his comments. If he isnt there for the duration, your parents will still be there for you to support you so try not to back him against them and ask him not to get involved.
Have a think about what you want out of life and go and get it, you will see things all round will improve if you look to yourself for the answers and no one else. Try not to worry too much we all go through this stage. Hope this helps
A
female
reader, Avalon +, writes (28 September 2010):
What 16-17 year old hasn't said the exact same thing?Remember, your parents are human beings, and are capable of all the emotions you are. Think of how your younger sibling annoys you with their immaturity...your parents probably feel the same way about you. You're an opinionated teenage child who thinks they should be treated like an adult, yet they are still paying to feed, clothe and shelter you. Not only that, you probably ask for iPods, laptops, and other crap not necessary for your upkeep. To top it off, they have two more children doing the same thing.You are the eldest child....set an example. Don't argue with your parents. Certainly don't allow your boyfriend to get involved...it's not his place,and he has no right.Your parents probably work full time jobs in order to pay the bills, and give you kids all the things you need. Do you honestly think, after a stressful day at work, they want to come home and be yelled at by their daughter and her boyfriend? If I was your parent, he would never be allowed back into my home after disrespecting me like that.I'm certain there isn't a single parent out there who hasn't fantasized about life after the kids have moved out, no matter how much they love them.I don't mean to sound harsh, but, now that I'm an adult, I can see the strain my sister and I must have put on our parents when we were your age, and you can't necessarily help it, because you're hormonal and crazy (just part of being a teen). Just ride it out, and try to understand where they're coming from.
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A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (28 September 2010):
 I grew up in a similar environment where my brothers were treated like gold and I, the oldest had very little freedom and was always criticized by them. Its continued to this day and I'm 28!The best advise I can give you, which is what I did, is that I focused on myself and my schooling. I got very good grades and ended up living away from them during university. I went into nursing, so I had a job right out of university which paid for a nice apartment and the bills. I was 21 and independent. I've never had to live in that environment again (except for one 4 week stint where my mom went psycho and kicked me out at midnight). I keep them now at a safe distance where they cannot criticize me and abuse me the way they did. To this day my brothers are treated very differently. But man, I am so glad that I went straight into university and finished a good program. It just prevented a lot of turmoil because I became independent fast and did not have to live with them.Now I'm in counseling (something you might want to do at some point to as I'm sure your self-esteem has taken a hit) and feel so much better in life than I did 10 years ago. I also have surrounded myself with loving and good people.Hope this helps hun. It will get better :)
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