A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I went to college for a year and that didn't work out - I couldn't get myself out of bed to go to class, I really wasn't partying much (I went to about four parties the entire year and at all four I blacked out drunk and made an ass of myself and pissed everyone off, so no one wants me to drink with them) so that wasn't the problem. I just never had the energy to get out of bed and nothing in class made sense and I couldn't concentrate on reading or remembering anything and I couldn't catch up to even pass. And I had tutors too but I couldn't study in my dorm because my roommate constantly had people over and they used up any food I stashed int here and went through my laundry money and basically took advantage of me and when I stood up to them they got in my face and got me to be the bad guy and when I reported them to the RA, they turned it around on me and got ME in trouble.So it wasn't partying, but my parents thought it was and almost pulled me out of college. They were REALLY strict and I didn't want to go back home. besides, I was trying to come out of the closet and this is a really liberal area where it's supposed to be accepted. Except all these evangelists from the Christian Union were constantly at my door tyring to get me to go to their church and I wasn't ready to come out to them but they were always running into me on campus and intercepting me when I was trying to go to the gay student group and they kept confronting me about being gay and practicing witchcraft. They were the only ones nice to me and not taking advantage of me and I really don't know how to say no to people. And a lot of them are graduates who work with the union so they're like 26-30-45 or something and I was taught you don't backtalk yoru elders. Besides, myr oommates kept telling me to go to church with the groups and telling the church people where I was and basically they told me they'd tell my parents I was coming out and having sex with guys too (which I didn't do yet) if I didn't go to church. I moved out to get AWAY from all that! I mean, it's OK if my roommates go party or have guys over but as soon as I do, they sic evangelists on me at every turnSo I dropped out of college and moved in with some roommates and other than the part where I'm the only one who works and pays rent and basically they eat all my food and gobble up any pizza I order so I can eat, they treat me better. We're experimenting with pot and ecstacy but then I ran into Jack at work. Jack is from the church and now all the members are coming into my work and trying to talk to me about Jesus and they are being nice but I am not interested. I can't bring myself to say that because I feel guilty even though I gave it a try a few times and it's not for me. Again, I was taught to respect my elders so I don't know how to turn them down. And Jack and his wife will show up right before I'm supposed to go to work and will call my boss to tell them I'm late and they keep insiting they drug-test me because he feels it will be for my own good for me to get fired. I gave him my schedule because it was embarrassing that he kept showing up at my work asking about me, confronting me about what I was talking about at work and basically trying to get me in troubleHe did the same thing with classes too, he saw me going out of a class and sat outside the class the whole period last year to make sure I went to class. My roommates then told him my last name and where I was from and he facebooked my parents and they facebooked him bnack and he keeps threatening to tell them what he thinks I've been doing (he's right, I am partying). But I keep telling him I'm not, but he followed me and banged ont he door where I normally party and he has showed up at places I go to and I can't just leave to take a bus somewhereAnd I can't do ar estraining order against him because he will call the police and get me arrested. I can't even get support from the gay community here because they all hate me for being bi and they think I'm just bi curious because I've never been with a woman. But yeah, I'm just trying to enjoy being young and single and free for once, but jack and his church friends are doing their best to make me feel guilty Is there a way I can get them to go away and leave me alone without them risking my family finding out? It's just that myw ork is sick of him showing up and they've disciplined ME about being late and not performing wellAnd I'm really upset about all this because he's treating me like a little kid and goes into my work and chastises me for things and I end up being em barrassed and apologizing. No one else seems to have this problemADVICE?
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at work, christian, drunk, facebook, money, moved in, moved out, my boss, period, roommate Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2014): I have never heard of something like that ever. I mean the church people are way too intrusive, you have to tell tell you do not want to frequent their church, to stop interfering with your boss in a nutshel stand up for yourself OTHERWISE they will always treat you like a child. Your roomates seem to be taking advantage of you as well, try to get a new place if you can, tbh I don't think that drinking untill you pass out and doing drugs will do you much good either, and if it helps my first year of college was frindless and I was also wondering what I was doing ( still attended classes though), I would go to seminars and understand nothing, but in my second year I got an internship and it really helped me to find myself, in a sense that i enjoyed college a lot more because I actually put my knowledge to use.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2014): You seem incredibly immature and naive for a 20-year-old, I can see exactly why your parents were so strict with you and why they don't want you on your own without their money or their constant input: you can't handle freedom! I can see why your roommates want you involved in church and why the evangelists do too, you're VERY easy to take advantage of and you don't know your ass from your armpit. All this guilt you have about respecting your elders is because you KNOW you are in the wrong. Don't drink or use drugs, talk to your apartment manager and have YOUR portion of the rent put into an escrow account. If your roommates don't pay, DON'T pay their portion. Just swallow your pride and move back home. Clearly, you are NOT ready to be on your own. Start going to church, live the way you were raised, and get your lazy ass out of bed in the morning. Grow up and do what you're supposed to WITHOUT being prodded and maybe you won't have these things happen to you. Once you get a well-paying job enough to be on your own, THEN you can start your little "finding yourself" period. By then, you'll (hopefully) be mature enough not to want to do that party scene where you clearly don't belong. As for coming out of the closet, don't. You're not bi, you're curious and no lesbian wants to be treated as a lab rat just because you want to see if it's your thing. Sorry, but that's the way it is for you.
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