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female
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anonymous
writes: I have a boyfriend and he is really great. He has never done anything wrong so my parents have nothing against him. But my parents are old fashioned and dont think that dating is allowed. They once found out and i was seriously punished. I told him that we have to break it off so that i wont be punished all my life. Should i keep going or break it off? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2006): Often, parents think they know what is best for their children, but often those same parents only see it through their perspective and not through a more mutual point of view. If your parents truly want what is best for you, in a mutual PoV, then they should also give him a chance - give this relationship a chance. Along the way, they can give tidbits of guidance. If the relationship doesn't work out, then your parents can offer some hugs. If the relationship come across bumps, they can offer advice. If the relationship works out, then they can go to your future wedding if any.
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reader, Smiler +, writes (25 June 2006):
 Hey there
Well i half agree with martini, whilst i believe you shouldn't be punished just for dating i also agree that your parents are only concerned about yourwelfare after all they do knpow whats best for you but they are only doing this to protect you maybe they know things about yur b/f that you don't for instance maybe his reputation proceeds him etc.. this is a tough one personally i think your parents need to loosen the reigns a little and let you live live but i'm not in there shoes so its difficult to judge, but as your living at home i'm afraid to say you must live by there rules while undere their roof :o(
I hope my advice was of some help to you sweetie :o) good luck ok... If you ever need someone to talk to or just a shoulder to cry on or maybe a little more advice, truely i'm always here for you ok :o)
You Take Care Babe And Good Luck X
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reader, shania  +, writes (25 June 2006):
 I totally agree with Martini....what century is your parents living in?...You dont say how old you are but i take it that you are in your teens.I find it disgusting that your parents would want to punish you forever?...You haven't committed murder,its normal and healthy to be interested in the opposite sex,i think they are scared of losing you but its selfish on their part.If your boyfriend loved you enough then he will wait for you...and when you reach a certain age you can then leave home and do what you like without their control,but while you are living in their house im afraid you will have to bide your time.I think sometimes,parents forget that they were young once.
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reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (25 June 2006):
 If you have to sneak around and risk 'punishment' for dating, then it's not worth it. While you live with your folks, you have to respect their rules.
Frankly though, I'm a little bit hard to convince that your parents are that "old fashioned". I'd be about the age of your folks, I'm pretty sure, and certainly no one my age -- who grew up in the 1970s -- would be that strict. Well, unless you come from a culture outside the West, in which case I'd understand.
Could there be more to your story that you haven't included? Do you have a history of breaking the house rules? Or are you inclined to get into trouble, generally? Have you sneaked out with a boyfriend before?
If you're above the age of about 14, you need to approach your parents and talk with them about this. They need to carefully explain the whys and hows of their rules, and what you can do to prove that you're trustworthy enough to date guys.
Discussing this like an adult is going to take a lot of patience on your part, but if you stay very calm and ask them why they're so strict, you might get an insight into what their problem is with your dating, and how you might get their permission to do so.
Good luck...
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2006): It's fucking retarded that people get punished for stuff like this. However, if it costs you so much grief, then you obviously already know what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2006): Respect your parents and break it off.
They love you and know what is best.
There is plenty of time for dating when you are older.
If he is still interested then so be it!
Good Luck!
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