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My parents hate me seeing my boyfriend because of his past.

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Question - (5 August 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 5 August 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, *reamie Tofu writes:

Ive known my boyfriend for at least 5 years..we fell in love when we were 12 but i was to young so we broke it off and waited..4 years later we went back out and now im turning 18 in just four months he is turning 19 in two months. My parents found out but they really disaprove him because of his past. He was a Drug dealer..a drop out..he smokes..he Gta..anything you name he did before..except of course rape haha..but he had stopped everything..just when we went back out i told him to take it slowly and stop everything..so its all good..but its so hard to see him knowing i have to secretly see him all the time..me and my family gets into really terrible arguments sometimes end up with me so close to suiciding..help..how can i make them understand that we are in love...we waited four years to see eachother..now we finally did..im so happy with him..

View related questions: fell in love, smokes

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A male reader, doddster_24 United Kingdom +, writes (5 August 2008):

doddster_24 agony aunthi,

not everyone can understand how u feel about this guy, you have to be honest with your parents and let them know that he has changed and reasure them that he has.... your 19 now and that means you can make your own decisions.. i.e responsible ones, your perants are just worried about you not him and i can understand that alot. try not to argue with them as it will make them worse if you have to have a chat with who you get on better with i.e your mum or your dad but not together as they back each other up i guess..

never contemp suiciede as its not good and i should know ive got a five inch scare on my left wrist that reminds me what heartache and pain can do... keep hope and stick with this guy.. just hope he treats you good.

atb..xx

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008):

Honestly I don't blame your parents for being that way.

Most people in a bad lifestyle can manage to stop their vices for short time. But your parents don't know if your BF will still be off the bad lifestyle in another two or three years down the road.

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A female reader, sappygirl United States +, writes (5 August 2008):

sappygirl agony auntMan! You sound like me when I was your age. Seriously!!

Okay..I know you don't want to hear this but you parents are just trying to protect you. That is their job. Of course you don't agree with it because it's not what YOU want to do, but you have to understand what they are saying is right.

Here's the thing. let me break it down to you. You are young and in love. I get it. But you have to know that you have your WHOLE life ahead of you. there is a whole world out there waiting to be explored and you have a life to experience. Do you really want a loser of a guy to tie you down? Basically..ruin your life? Us women are attracted to Bad boys. It's a given..because it's a challenge. We think our love will change them. But try to look 5 or 10 year into your life. He will make your life miserable because he has issues and no matter how much you love him, it will not get resolved.

Seriously you want to spend your life with a drug dealer..who is a high school drop out? Where are your standards in men that you are with? Don't you think you deserve to be with someone better?

anyhow, you can take the advice or not. It's your life.

But take it from someone who's older and wiser. Make your decisions with your head and not your "heart". It will save you a lot of heartache. Unless that is the road you want to take. Best of luck.

btw. NO MAN OR BOY IS WORTH ENDING YOUR LIFE OVER. THAT'S JUST PLAIN STUPID.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008):

heyy, i understand where your coming from because this has happened to me before.

Your going to have to explain to your parents [if you havent already done so, that you cant control your feelings and if you could then you would. And that they are exaggerating and he isnt as bad as they think if they sinmply got to know him?

Also explain that he has changed and because they care about you could they take the time to hear you out bedcause you know him better than they do and that you could change their opinion on him, plus your not the kind of girl to fall for someone like and you know better and because you see this better changed side of him that is why your with him.

have you tried that?

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