A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi DearCupid, I'd like your opinion on this.I am 20 and my sister is 16. We both live at home with our parents. I work full time, she has a part time job. My parents have spent hundreds of dollars on her for clothes, sports events, parties, shoes, etc. This is not because they want too, but because she is good at manipulating them. My parents are aware of it and they joke about it with her saying it will make her a good 'lawyer' one day.I understand that I am now 20, and my parents no longer have to support me. I am my own responsibility and I fully accept that.The ironic thing here is, my dad himself keeps telling me how my sister has gotten so much more money then I ever did and that it isnt fair to me and he will compensate me everything they spent on her because his parents always paid their kids out fairly.However, whenever I do need money and ask him if I could have 'my compensation' in full, he refuses and tells me I need to work for it because she's younger.What? I'm getting really frustrated with this back and forth. He once told me if I was better at negotiating them into things like her I would have gotten more but Im too quiet. (My sister fights with them a few times before they give her what she wants)What would you do in this situation?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2012): Your situation is just like my own two daughters. One is demanding and it is often easier to just give in. The other one is like you, not at all demanding and quieter. "Pester-power" is hard to ignore but we try to keep things even and fair. Ultimately no one wants a divide between their children and resentment to build up, so I do feel that your parents might have mishandled the situation.
As the independant type you will always be able to stand on your own two feet and your sister will have a rude awakening unless she continues to bleed your parents dry as an adult.
A
male
reader, Myau +, writes (16 May 2012):
 My parents made this mistake aswell. They shouldnt promise you money when they are just talking nonsense.
Try to think about your situation like this: you dont really need help (money) while your sister does.
Soon enough she will have to stand on her own two feet though and it will be tougher for her than for you.
Thus you are strong and independant. Be proud of that
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