A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys, I live with my parents and have been in a relationship with my BF for about 8 months. He's my first serious BF. He lives on his own. His family and friends are very social people, and I'm over at their houses quite often. My parents are very strict about that. My BF's been over to mine only 2 times, first to meet my parents, then for my brother's b-day. My parents don't like people to just 'hang out' in their home, it has to be a formal occassion. Even when I was younger, friends weren't allowed to come and play in my house...it was only ok when it was my b-day.My mum finds it strange and inappropriate to be 'hanging' out at other people's homes. If she knew I hang out at my BF's and watch movies, listen to music, etc she'd get angry at me. She thinks dating should be about 'going out for ice cream and walks along the river.'Anyway, my BF doesn't get this and he's been asking why he can't hang out at mine.Please don't tell me to move out. I know that's what I need to do, but due to some things I can't move out just yet. So that's not the solution at this time.What do I do? Should I just tell my BF that this is the issue, even though he doesn't seem to get it?
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (24 March 2010):
 Tell him your reasons and assure him that it has nothing to do at all with him . It is just the way your parents live and it is their culture. He will understand.
A
male
reader, The Realist +, writes (24 March 2010):
 You should just tell him that your parents do not want people over. That way he won't think that it is because of anything he's doing. Explain this story about the past and everything and I'm sure that he would understand.
The whole thing about spending time with your bf is your business not your parents. You are old enough that anything you do outside of their home is up to you and they should have no bearing on it. You may have to tell them this if they do end up getting mad at you. They may not like it at first but they will realize that you are an adult and they need to respect that.
One day you will move out and then you can run your home the way you want to. I've never really had people at my house cause there is not really anywhere to go hangout and they all understood this when I told them.
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