A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Aunts,I met my boyfriend on facebook like 2 years ago. We have developed feeling to each other since then and we started dating. It didnt take long for us to develop such feeling coz we have the similar interests. We live in 2 different continents separated by oceans and we have 12 hours difference between us. So we dont meet on a regular basis instead we have been using Skype and Phone to keep in touch. Our biggest problem lies with my parents, who dont really like the idea of me dating someone I met online and to add some more, comes from different nationality. They have asked me to break up with this guy and start looking for a local guy. It really breaks my heart everytime I get on the phone with them (we dont live together) just to hear them saying those painful words over and over again. My man knew this so he was planning to come to get me. But then a sudden problem came up from my aunt who married someone she also met on facebook.There my parents again bring this whole-online-dating thingy up and they even gave me ultimatum to break up soon with my boyfriend. It really breaks my heart to find out that even with him coming here not gonna change my parents mind. They have an absolute opinion about western guy that nothing in the world can change. How am I supposed to deal with this? Should I just break up which is the last thing I ever think about ever since we started dating???
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah I know I should be the one having a say on this. But even after a meeting with him I know my parents will still say NO to him, aside from the fact that we come from 2 different cultures, my parents will still brag about him being untrue or horrible stuffs like he is just going to hurt me when he gets bored with me based on their experience. They even threatened me a lot of times, like If I ever dare to move one step closer to him, that will be the end of me in my family. Arent they too much? I know every parents wants the best for their children but this is just too much..
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (11 March 2012):
 WHO's "dating" this guy????? ..... YOU????.... or your PARENTS????
How hard would it be to say to them (your parents): "When you become ME, then you can advise ME how to conduct my life????? Until then, I will conduct my life as I see fit, and I really don't need, or desire, YOUR input to it?"
Good luck...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2012): Why do parents always think they know what's best?
Twice in my life my ex-boyfriend's parents have voiced their ill-conceived thoughts about me like I've lived on my own too long and can't adapt to living with someone, or that I'm too independent. Both times my relationships have ended. I admit my ex-boyfriends were weak but still.
You go ahead an meet your LDR, it's your life, forget what your parents think. You listen to YOUR head and YOUR heart. It's YOUR life, live it the way you want.
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A
female
reader, Blonde68  +, writes (11 March 2012):
If your parents are like any normal loving parents, what they are doing is showing love and concern for you - but you don't see it like that because you are the one in the thick of it.
Have you actually met your boyfriend face to face? If not, this could be why your parents are concerned. Until you have actually met someone and spent time in their presence we kind of build an image up of a person and think they are perfect. I am not trying to put the dampers on things, as I am sure over a period of two years you have got to know him, but in my opinion it isnt the same as seeing them in the flesh and building a relationship up that way. Maybe your parents think you are wasting your life and can't see a future for you both if you have gone this long without meeting.
However, If he is genuine, and is prepared to come and live near you, then I think it is extremely unfair of your parents to judge someone because of their nationality - In my opinion that is extremely shallow and unacceptable.
Basically, as harsh as it sounds, you can't live your life simply to keep your parents happy, so you must do what your hearts tells you. But on that note, I would seriously try and have more contact face to face with him and go from there.
Good luck.!
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