A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello there. I'm so sorry to bring up this sad story to you. Ok the story is: my mom and dad can't handle each other. They just can't stay together and talk in the same room without arguing on somethings, fighting with words, rising their voices not caring about who s watching or who s not. That makes me feel sad and its so embarrassing to bring my friends to the house while they are around. My friends would tell me how close their parents are and how loving and caring they are to each other. honestly i hate it when they bring up that topic, sometimes i wish i could just tell to shut up! I wish my parents could just forget about whatever bad they think of each other and show each other other love( since (ive never saw that in my entire life) and calm down when they got issues or just get some privacy. Right now im so confused i don't know what to do about it. Should i tell them how i feel? Should i tell them to keep their voices down when they are arguing(and blaming each other for somethings i don't understand)? Or should I...:( Please help me out, my family is falling apart. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2011): I'm in exactly the same situation as you sweetie. I can't remember it having ever been different between my parents and I'm almost 19 now. All I can suggest is that you have an open and honest conversation with them, explaining how their behaviour is affecting you (talk to them separately if you find it easier) and hopefully it'll remind them to be more considerate in future. Don't forget though that no family is completely without its problems, so try not to let it upset you when your friends mention how happy their parents are together. That may be the case, but it's a fair bet that they have other familial sorrows!Two people can often get so caught up with mundane issues that they forget not only how to communicate but also that they once loved each other (and most probably still do deep down). Add to this the fact that even with the best of intentions some individuals simply find it very difficult to get along, and you end up with this scenario. With the effort and goodwill of both people this can be improved upon immensely though, so don't despair! I wish you and your family the best of luck. Take care :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2011): Hi, My name is Kyle and I'm 26 and shared a similar childhood to what your experiencing right now. There are millions of families that exist in the world that seem normal from people looking in from the outside, but behind closed doors lies a completely different view. My family was one of those as well. My parents constantly fought from the time I was very young, until I was 18 and moved out. Yes, there were good times between the fights, but a majority of the time my parents were together in the house, it was a never ending argument. My parents eventually brought me into their arguments as a "middle-man" and I would have to mediate between the two. My parents have since then changed a great deal and never fight, and I still love both of them just as much as when they did fight, but their fighting hurt me the same as it is doing to you. Most important thing you have to remember is although they are your parents, they are just people too.. people who love each other,although their actions may not indicate that, but you being alive is most likely a product of that love. Never hesitate to tell your parents how you fill,I made that mistake and kept quiet most of the time, until I would blow up with bottled up emotions. Don't be ashamed of your family, they are the only one you have, try to be helpful in hurtful situatons, do what you can when you can, but most importantly live your life, respect your parents, but that doesn't mean you can't express your concern about all their arguements to them. Hopefully things work out. Good Luck!
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