A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My partner is overweight and has diabetesHe always wants sex using just one position that suits himI hate it and have lost interest as there is no loving emotional togetherness. At first it was a novelty now I cringe and just don't want it at all. I get no sexual urges to have sex with him at all now.What shall I do.
View related questions:
overweight Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (11 March 2013):
 The first thing you must do is be honest with him.
Is the issue his weight?
Is it the diabetes causing erection problems?
or is it the position?
or a combo of all of the above?
if you have not talked to him about it, the first thing you must do is sit down and have this painful frank discussion about it.
his weight
his diabetes
his inability to have sex in more than one position
if you are that unhappy and he is not willing to even attempt to fix it, then it needs to be a deal breaker.
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (11 March 2013):
 Is he trying to lose weight? I think that is the first step, he needs to lose weight to help his diabetes so for his health's sake he needs to start a healthy lifestyle. If he is not trying, then you need to talk to him about how you can help him get healthy. If both of you could go on a diet together (even if you dont need to lose weight, you could eat the same as him just bigger portions) to support each other. Start exercising together, even if it is just going out for a walk it will be a big help.
So your first step is to talk about health and weight, and make suggestions of how you can work together to get healthy.
After that, talk to him about sex (not in the same conversation though, wait for a few days or a week or so later otherwise you will bombard him with negativity). Explain that this one position doesnt work for you and you are getting nothing from it, and explain that you would like to occasionally try a different position. Tell him you understand that this position works for him because of his weight, but that you are feeling sexually unfulfilled and you need some occasions to fulfil your needs as well.
Lots of talking is required - address his weight first and get your diet and exercise plan on track. Once that is going well and he is losing weight, congratulate him and tell him how proud you are (you have to be supportive). Then talk to him about sex and make it clear that this position isnt working for you and you are unhappy, and ask to try some new positions.
I'm sure once he realises you are unhappy, and he loses weight so more positions become comfortable, then things will get better.
...............................
|
