A
female
age
30-35,
*hris's_wifey_23
writes:Ok so i need advice.. Ok well me and ny bf have been dating for almost two years and we r happy the only problem is that i have overprotective parents i bearly ever see him. I only see him on the days we have school. Am afraid he is going to leaave me but he says he wont. We r only allowed to go to the movies and to each others house nothing else and am not allowed to get in the car with him we he is driving... am going to be 19!! Wat to i do?? Run away?? Talk to my parents?? But they never listen to me HELP PLEASE!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (12 March 2011):
 "Why don't they trust me?" Overall how would you say your relationship is with your parents? Do you often follow the rules, ever lied to them etc?
I see the reason why they don't let you in the car with him, he just got his license and they're not wanting you to ride with him. Car accidents are the leading cause of death for teenagers. Myself, I don't have enough fingers and toes to count the teenagers I knew that have died from car accidents. If you give them a little more time they'll probably bend and let you ride with him.
Like I said you need to show them that you are a responsible teen(who is almost out of her teens) and give them a talk on how you feel that you need to be allowed more freedom with your boyfriend. All you can do is try. If they shoot you down then I suggest obtaining a job, start saving $, find a roommate, so that you can move out.
A
female
reader, chris's_wifey_23 +, writes (12 March 2011):
chris's_wifey_23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI understand where both of you are coming from. And yes my parents know my boyfriend, they like him. And he just got his license a month ago but they still don't let me in the car. And in the past i have tried talking to them but they just shut me out. And my parents only let me out sometimes. They only let me go to the movies or his house. i have to choose what i want to do i can't do both. And they won't let me see him two days in a row. i know that my bf and I should be apart sometimes, and do our own thing, but at the same time we like never get to go out and do something fun. And even when we do go to the movies or i go to his house my parents text me like every 5min!! it's starting to become an issue in our relationship. And my bf isn't even those types who only want sex. We're both still virgins and we plan on keeping it that way. We are actually scared to have sex because many of our friends have become pregnant and we dont want that for us so we are holding off on the whole sex thing. I have never done anything so that they lose trust in me. So why dont they trust me?? I just dont know what to do anymore =,(
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2011): They are trying to protect you cos they love you...You need to show them you are mature and not impulsive so they can learn to trust you more...What all this talk about running away..It shows immaturity..Yes do talk to your parents so they know how you feel and ask them why they are so strict...Perharps you could come to a compromise on stuff you are allowed to do...Dont be in a rush to move out...The world is not an easy place..Be sure you are mature and ready....You will grow up and have to leave someday...Trust me , Independence come with a lot of responsibility....I know you are young but try to stop clinging to the boyfriend so much...The time you spend apart gives you time to miss each other...Being too available or seeing each other too much can have an ooposite effect on men in relationship...Let him look forward to seeing you...He has said he wont leave you and you are allowed to see him at home.....You are still not quite grown upm despite being 19...The world of men and relationships can be dangerous and people get hurt...They are also trying to protect you from the possibilities of unwanted pregnancies or getting hurt...Understand they do love you and want the best for you.....Try to improve communication with them by not getting into a strop evry time you disagree...You will understand how they feel when you grow up and have kids of your own..Be patient and communicate but in the right way
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (12 March 2011):
And where would you run away to? Where would you stay.
Running away is immature and solves absolutely nothing. Don't even try it. If you do and you end up going back home your parents will be even more strict on you than before.
I noticed that you say you only see him at school, then you say you are only allowed to go to the movies and each others houses. Which is it?
Why don't your parents let you get into his car? Does he have any DUIs, bad driving record?
Have your parents even met your boyfriend? This may be part of the problem. I would ask them if you could invite him to dinner one night, so that way they can have an insight as to who you are dating and possibly soften up on you a little more.
Really, your best bet is to start contributing to a little housework..Then set your parents down for a serious talk about their restrictions when it comes to your boyfriend. State your case, that you're 18, legally an adult, the legal age of consent, are aware of the risks of unprotected sex, going off to college soon (or currently enrolled) etc. Just ask if they will loosen the leash.
If they don't listen, then I suggest you save some $ to move out. It's their house, their rules.
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