A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I want to hear what you are going to say about this :)I have a good friend,she's a year older,we happen to go to the same university and she's one of the people I trust. So does she. We are from the same town too. She had gone to visit her parents in this other town and called me 3 days ago,and we arranged to meet up yesterday. She texted me she couldn't meet me because she was very tired from looking for something downtown and then had to go to her friend's *Ria* house cause she was sick. So today I texted her saying i finish at 6 and we can meet for a coffee she said she'd love to but needs to be home because of an obligation so and she ended up asking me if i wanna go out with her in the evening or we can go to this place with some of her girls I met at her birthday. I said let's meet up just me and u and we can meet the girls during the weekend.she said ok and we set a time. She also called me to make the arrangements and i said "so cheeky u,didnt come over yesterday" and she apologized sincerely and said there were riots downtown so she got home late etc...So some time later shes texting that she can meet me at 6 as i initially suggested but is with Ria.She's like "would u like that or should we stick to the original plan and meet at 9"...now she's with Ria at her house and asks me if i wanna come over,i said i'll go home and relax and then get ready for 9. So after some time shes texting me that Ria is still at her house and she'll come later etc...and that she's getting pissed off at that.I was like "since u told her what time ur going out what's the problem?anyways im gonna be at home cya"...she didn't text anything after that. I ended up staying at home and watched a movie with another friend.I had a very fun evening but that doesnt erase her behavior.My pointsa) I know she's not very fond of Ria.She said it herself,that Ria can be too talkative and when I saw them at her birthday,i could tell there wasnt much chemistry.b) My friend is a smart,considerate person.c) What she said about Ria "holding onto her" is kind of stupid? I mean if u tell someone u got plans for 9 and theyre at ur house,then u start gettin ready to leave,what can they say to you? d) I should say something to her since it's the second time in a row she ditched me. I dont know how to go about this,she has this ability to turn someones arguement against them.e) I have the strange feeling that she did this to me because she could do it,in other words i dont think she'd do this to anyone else. I dont wanna be too bitchy and give her an ultimatum but something needs to be done. Should I wait till she calls? Suggestions,anyone?
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female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (12 March 2011):
 Your friend sounds like she wanted to meet with you but didn't know how to tell Ria to get lost. She didn't want to invite her along, but probably felt like it would be rude to say sorry I have to go now and you are not invited.
So try not to look or sound mad when you talk to her. Just say you were disappointed that you didn't get to see her and hang out. And if you find out that I was right more or less about what happened, then have her practise what she could do or say next time something like that happens with this Ria girl.
But don't let it wreck your friendship, cause it sounds like this Ria girl is gonna get old real fast and she will probably ditch her soon all on her own. People like that tend to wear out their welcome pretty fast. But good friends last forever.
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