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female
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anonymous
writes: My man is in a bad mood with me because i refused to give him oral sex. It is something i have never been too keen on, either giving or receiving. It just doesn't do it for me at all. Sometimes it even turns my stomach! Are there others out there who do not enjoy it also? Should i do it just to keep him happy?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2006): I agree with twiltan's insight to a man's thinking!
As shallow as this will probably sound, whether or not a girl gives oral, and really enjoys it, is a make or break factor on whether or not I see them as a long term partner.
I don't think I could be with someone that doesn't enjoy it, no matter if they were perfect in every other way!
In reply to the original message, it is pretty common for men to react like a little kid when they feel they are being deprived of sex. I have noticed this in my behaviour before and try not to be this way because to become moody is an ultimately certaintly that the situation will just become even worse!
If you don't like doing it, you shouldn't do it. Your partner will not enjoy it if he can see that you are not looking comfortable.
To see someone you love, sucking on your penis and looking like they are enjoying it (making eye contact seems to double how great it is!) is the best feeling ever.
If you are sure though that you will never enjoy it, I think you have to be honest with him about it and tell him to accept you for who you are. Good luck with it.
A
male
reader, twiltan +, writes (16 May 2006):
I think that if it really repulses you, you shouldnt do it.
I think many women dont enjoy doing it, so its nothing unusual. And i doubt i would enjoy something you have been 'forced' to do anyway as your heart wouldnt be in it.
Many of the female posters are critising the man for wanting it so badly, to be fair to him a BJ for a man is something special. For many it is better than sex. Most men that i know enjoy giving oral pleasure as well as recieving it. The most common comment i hear from male friends is that their wives expect oral but no longer give it.
If everything else is good with your man but you dont want to do oral then you could look for an alternative to excite him, dressing up, massage etc.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2006): just a suggestion,as a start you could just lick the shaft a little put it in your mouth a little just to tease it as foreplay!you don't have to go for a long time.compromise,give him a taste of what he's wanting then jump on him.he'll be so shocked it won't matter that you didn't finish,and if it does maybe there is something wrong w/him!
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A
female
reader, emma_t7 +, writes (15 May 2006):
Well to be fair, your boyfriend is being pretty pathetic and not respecting your wishes. If this is how he feels then give him an ultimatum...simply tell him, "if you can't accept me for who I am and the things I do and don't like then maybe you're not the one for me, you aren't the person I expected you to be. If you love me you will respect how I feel".
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2006): no you shouldnt do it to make him happy because what fun is in it for you. i mean you feel discusted by it, and you dont need to feel force into it either.
i do it because i enjoy it. i love giving as well as recieving. some of us girls enjoy to suck while some dont. and he shouldnt throw little three year old temper tantrum over it!!!
if you feel discusted by the taste of his penis, you should go out and buy you some flavored condums, or buy some flavored oils. you could also try deserts to try and mask the taste of his penis.
if you'd rather do it that way, tell him you'll do it only with a flavored condum and no other way.
and if you dont like the feeling of gaggin, you dont put it all the way in your mouth or down your throat. i dont, and he loves it either way!
i hope this helps!!!
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A
female
reader, leannelle +, writes (15 May 2006):
 I know what you mean, I find that the thought of it can put me off, however, if I get really turned on I can quite enjoy it. You could try doing other stuff as well, like playing with his balls while licking, that way he's still having a good experience (i think!) without you feeling it's too invasive. Martinin was right when he said it's not always equal though! it does seem more expected for women to do the giving, but feeling compelled to won't put you in the mood!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2006): Why do some women think that deep throating is something that all guys like? One of my ex's thought that when I want oral, she has to go all the way through. I like the first half sucked, not the whole entire thing. Watching my gf gag is something that would turn me off.
Sure, vagina aren't exactly the tastiest things in the world, but I believe in giving as well as receiving.
HOWEVER Ms. Anon, if you don't like it, then you shouldn't have to do it. Sure, some compromising would be nice, and this isn't always treated equally, but if you absolutely don't want to, then don't do it.
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A
female
reader, anasa +, writes (15 May 2006):
i have to agree with you - i have to be really in the mood to give oral and im not keen on it at all i dont even like having it done - if anything id rather give oral than recieve but i more than happy to live without - it turns my stomach aswell - lucky for me my partner isnt that bothered about it
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2006): I have to say i enjoy recieving but i never enjoy giving to my partner. The act, let alone the throught of it made me want to throw up in my throat but i think thats because his penis kept touching my tonslis. But i only did it because i wanted to make him happy, it wasn't something i enjoyed.
Thats just my personal experience but you have to weigh up if you think it's worth doing it.
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