A
female
age
30-35,
*ocahottie0806
writes:When my boyfriend and I got together, it had been 3 years since my last boyfriend, and even longer than that since I had last had sex. Since we started having sex, I just don't enjoy it, he can't make me orgasm unless there's tons of foreplay before hand, and I hate to give him blowjobs. It hurts my jaw and neck, regardless of how we're positioned, and I just flat-out don't enjoy it. He complains when I don't want to, and most of the time I feel like he's trying to force me to. When I tell him I don't want to, or I don't like it, he gets all pouty. A couple of days ago he called me a lesbian, and he's even mentioned one of his ex-girlfriends who apparently loved to do it. I don't know what I should do, if there's a way for us to work through it, or if we just shouldn't be together.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 January 2013):
 I think you two are sexually incompatible and that it's probably always going to be a sticking point.
The thing is most women need tons of foreplay to orgasm some never orgasm during sex at all... (foreplay or otherwise) and most (around 75%) women do NOT orgasm from penetration alone.
I have the opposite problem from you... my husband won't perform oral and I've learned to accept it. I miss it and I tease him now and again about it (NEVER during sex or when we are in bed but other times) but it's something I accept. Many women would not accept this and that's ok.
HE would not have entered into a relationship with me had I not liked giving blow jobs. He was adamant that it was mandatory in his sex life...Since I do like doing it (see some women like it some do not) it's worked out well for us in that area.
I strongly suggest you reconsider remaining his GF due to not only the sexual incompatibility but his reaction to it... he's going to continue to berate you and bully you to do what he wants. NOT good.
Find a man who does not care about blow jobs who loves to perform cunnilingus (they do exist) and that will be a much better match for you.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 January 2013):
 So basically, he doesn't make your bell ring and he throws fits when you don't want to give him oral?
I DO think sex is about sharing and pleasing each other - but it's not about FORCING someone to do things they do not enjoy, that is just too one sided.
You are getting yourself set up for staying in a relationship with basically bad sex. Which in turn will make you want sex even less, if at all.
For him to bring up ex-gf who LOVED giving blow jobs is just a way to try and manipulate you into thinking:" OH I HAVE to do this too."
If it was me in your shoes, I would end it. You don't seem happy with him.
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A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (2 January 2013):
 He doesn't sound like the nicest of men but obviously it is your choice if you choose to be with him. I don't think giving a blow job is ever that nice for a woman, the enjoyment is seeing it pleasure someone you care about, maybe if you felt you were getting more from him in the bedroom you would be more happy to return the favour. Personally I think you need to understand your own body and what makes you orgasm then show him how to do it, don't wait for him to figure it out, he's a man he will be there all day.Also let him know that his comments offend/hurt you. Sometimes people say things out of frustration that they don't really mean.Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2013): You shouldn't be with him. He is selfish and inconsiderate so there is no working this out.
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