A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of almost a year often talks about our future together. The other night we were talking about 2020 and he was describing where he sees himself and then saying what we'll be doing etcThe only thing is that he's told me that he doesn't see marriage within at least the next 5 years. He says there's no point in getting married soon and that he doesn't like to rush into anything. I don't want marriage now either but would like it one day.His views are logical I guess and I'd rather have him wait than rush into something without thinking it through. But my female brain for some reason tells me that this means that he's not too sure about me. Although he talks about our future and he's said that he sees spending the rest of his life with me, he's never clearly said that he wants to marry me. I find this to be an indicator that he's not too sure about me.Am I right or am I overacting?I'm 26 and he's 25 and we're each other's first serious relationship. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, brownale +, writes (7 June 2010):
You's are only 1 year into your relationship and its both your first serious relationships. Which suggests he is still new to this situation. Talking about marriage now probably makes him feel uncomfortable because he is already discovering something new and marriage is one big new thing. He may not believe in marriage it's not every think just paper to be honest. Along as you both love and commit to each other all that matters. Maybe try talking to him ask him a few simple questions. Maybe ask him why he wants to wait at least 5years..
Good luck
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (7 June 2010):
I think your female brain is right. I can understand him wanting to make sure. But to say that he doesn't see it in the next 5 years isn't good. 2 years is a good amount of time to think about it. But if he's suggesting 5 AT LEAST, which would take you to 31, then that would suggest he isn't too into committing.
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