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female
,
anonymous
writes: My bf who used to obssess about me dumped me after 10 months, how do I get over him?He was the perfect bf, never cheated, always loyal. And he is so hot, he had to turn down a lot of girls. But when we went to college he suddenly changed, he asked for space because he's having 2nd thoughts about us, he wanted to focus on his studies, he felt like he lost time for himself and I gave him that space. But then he broke up with me, when I thought everything was ok. He had different reasons, he felt I was controlling, demanding, nosy. Then some days he would say he just needs to figure out what he really wants, he doesn't want me gone, he just wants me to step back. Then sometimes he would want us to be friends with the same benefits as bf/gf, but with less responsibilities.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2006): Sweetie. Don't receive his messages and when he says Hi just wave and walk on; don't stop to chat.
You are allowing him to confuse you with his friendliness.
You need to tell him you would like it if he can just back off of you for awhile.
Tell him you need closure and he is just confusing you.
Be strong.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2006): that's what i call the PERFECT boyfriend. someone who never cheats, is loyal, and is SOOO TOTALLY HOT!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2006): so you mean the novelty of you wore out on him and now he wants something new and pretty to excite him don't run after him it will push him further away from you he'll think you're desperate and pathetic, make loads of new friends and go wild and he will really want you then, but just say 'give me some space for god's sake!!' seriously though get out he is playing with your emotions don't let yourself get hurt we keep the scars forever and although you might not notice they make a difference later on in life
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A
female
reader, joeymac +, writes (6 September 2006):
oh my god! lose him he is messing you about, he's trying to have his cake and eat it. he is just making excuses, i know its hard but move on, your at college now there should be plenty of new people to meet - and i'm sure thats what hes thinking too...
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A
female
reader, Claire6tigger +, writes (6 September 2006):
The problem is us girls tend to adjust to a relationship. We drop our friends and social circle for the man in our life! Adapting to suite them, sometimes even if we've made plans to go somewhere we'll drop them aat the thought of spending time with our beloved.
The men on the other hand tend to fit us girls in with their lifestyle. The longer the relationship lasts, the more us girls want to spend time with our man because slowly and surely our social circle has reduced and we tend to feel the need to spend more and more time with our man. The man at this time starts to feel smothered and when he goes out with his friends, we dont like it, we feel rejected.
Instead of sitting round for him you need to look up some of your friends and make plans, do things and get out there and whatever you do dont cancel any plans for him, say your busy but make alternative arrangements!
Give him the space he's looking for but dont put your life on hold. You will gain more confidence in yourself by doing this too. He will realise what he stands to lose and if he doesn't, by the time he does, it'll be too late, you'll have move on to bigger and better things!! x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2006): It's time to get tough and make a stand.
Who wants to be someone a guy uses for sex? Especially when you have feelings for him and they are not returned. Very deterimental to your self worth, self respect, and self esteem. Why put yourself in a situation where he gets to treat you like some object and not as a person who deserves love, respect, committment??
It is over and you know it and he wants it that way.
Move on. You can find another guy who can be what you want and need and who WANTS to be what you want and need.
Good Luck.
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A
male
reader, Inspired +, writes (6 September 2006):
Dear friend,
All guys need a break. Give him some free space and indeed let him figure out what he wants. And if he still does not need you then it is always better to stop going after him. Hard fact of life but you have to move along.
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (6 September 2006):
 It sounds like he's made it pretty clear as to what he wants. If you can live with that, then step back. If not, move on and do what you want.
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