| A ,
anonymous
writes: My husband cheated on me before we married and it took me a long time to trust him every again. But now we have been married for 12 years and I completely trust him again. Until I found him checking out dating services on the internet. We have looked at porn together on the internet and he has always been honest with me about everything he was doing while on the computer. But why in the world would he want to put an ad on a internet dating service? He never told me about it and I found it while checking out our email. I tried to talk to him about it and he said it must be some kinda of mistake. I checked, he set up a profile and everything! My trust in him is gone and I am not sure of what to do next.
View related questions:
cheated on me, porn, the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, Blightybloke +, writes (2 May 2005):
Yeah right it's a mistake, and I guess that he also firmly believes that the moon is made of cheese and that Elvis is alive and well and currently doing a great turn on Blackpool pier this Summer - the harsh truth of this is that your husband has been cruising the internet for thrills - how many other sites might he be a member of? And how long has this gone on for? Sure you've caught him on this occasion but what about the others? Sorry, but it's time to give him his marching orders!
A
reader, cheyenne +, writes (16 April 2005):
That depends: " ... If a man decieve me once , shame on him ...if twice , shame on me ... "Are you willing to accept that it's okay to be lied to? You've admitted the trust is gone and believe me - he's a dog. Don't get hung-up on his poor excuses he's bound to give you. The tears or the pleads that he "swears" he'll "never do this again..." He'll only do it more carefully the next time, and the time after that, and then what? You'll only end up blaming yourself and resenting him later.There are so many out there who are willing to "go" as far as there are places that will tempt them. He knows it's wrong, and clearly, he don't care. Not about you, or your feelings. Remember, people always "want" what they can't have...and based on statistics, if you were to leave him, he'd come crawling back to you like a puppy. Otherwise, stay, and you can only expect things to get far more worse.:)
...............................
A
female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (16 April 2005):
 These unfortunately are the dangers of the internet! Too much out there to tempt the guys! You say he has cheated before.. that in itself is something hard enough to get over, but to then find an ad on a dating site, whoah! get him in check.. you are right not to trust him, adverts dont just appear on there, but has he actually acted with it ? Im not sure what sort of ad or what sort of site... but it could simply be that hes put an ad there so that he can browse pics of females naked! Alot of the sites now are more than just dating sites.. they enable people to hook up for NSA fun, (people put all kinds of pics on there!) but that said, he could just as easily be looking up females to get horny to online, just to look at the naked pics and nothing more. But even that in itself is a no, if he cant be honest with you about it. You need to tell him that you find this unacceptable, and explain to him, whilst you do want to trust him, you find it really hard when there is an ad on a dating site! Find out if there are other issues that he has, that he hasnt told you. You really need to sit and talk this one through. Demand that he take the ad off for a start, and find out if he still wants to be with you. You really do need to know why the ad is there in the first place... whether he intended it to found someone, or for the sake of doing it. In either case you have really got to sort it out. If he cant explain to you honestly why its there, then how are you supposed to trust him, tell him this and tell him that you cant carry on like it. Having no trust in a relationship will always tear it apart! If you dont clear this one up now you are always going to be doubting him. Be clear to him that you wont allow it, and that you want an honest answer.Hope this kind of helpsTake carex x
...............................
A
reader, Devil's Advocate +, writes (16 April 2005):
 Kick him out, create your own profile on an internet dating site and find yourself an honest,trustworthy and honourable man. My bet is that you will find someone decent long before him because he is nothing but a untrustworthy scumbag that doesn't deserve another chance.He is probably going through a mid-life crisis and the only women that will want him will be gold-digging slappers, so let him get on with it. He'll find out the hard way. Then when he comes crawling back to you, begging for your forgiveness, just kick him in the nuts and tell him you need to return to your 'Adonis' in your marital bed because he said he sure knows how to give multiple orgasms.Have fun!!!!Devil's Advocate
...............................
|
