A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:hi i have been with my partner 3 years i have a 11 year old son that lives with me my partner has two tenagers that live with her last year my partner lost her neice she was 10 she died of sudden death she went to the same school as my son it is a terrible time at the moment i try to help all i can when i can my partner says im not there for her and not giving her support she needs, im confused when she drinks vodca this makes things worse she gets very up set shes seeing a counceler shes told me she needs time on her own, i dont want to breakup with her what can i do to give her the support she needs when at times she doesent want me there Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou very much for yor replies very helpfull
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (16 June 2007):
 Ask your partner "What can I do to be there for you?" I take it you don't actually live together? Send her a card and let her know you feel her pain, that you love her so much and that you're there for her with open arms. Send her some flowers too to cheer her up. Take her out for a meal and try to get her to open up to you about it. Women like to talk, it's a way of getting things off their chest whereas men are deeper and feel the need to keep things to themselves so don't be afraid to talk to her, it will help her open up more and this will help her heal.
Be there as her protector and let her know that drinking is won't help, it will only alleviate her pain but it will just come back once she's sober again. Going to grief counselling is good for her too. Ask her if she'd like you to come along with her, she might like that.
Losing a loved one is hard but when it is a small child it is harder still. Just be there for her, give her plenty of cuddles and affection, feel free to talk to her about her niece and in time she will heal. This will not only help her but will bond you both closer together too.
Eve
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2007): Oh darling, when we loose someone so unexpectedly like this our bodys go into shock, one minute my boyfriend was there and then the next day found on a beach after comitting suicide. I went from a strong woman to a shadow of myself i drank to stop the pain and emptyness, My son didnt give up even though he must have felt he was getting knowere, my friends got me out of bed even though i fought.. my boyfriend and i had broken up but were still talking and had argued the night before as he thought i had someone else, his mind was so confused. If my fiance hadnt come along i wouldnt have got through this as i did, he would not give up he stood by me even in times when i told him to go he always came back.I stopped drinking so much slowly at first then as time went on my life turned around and i became a stronger woman for it, without the help it may not have been this way. As a month after i got my life back on track my friend commited suicide. I didnt go down the same road again.... I no how hard this is for you and i no how very hard this is for your partner hunny just do the best you can and be there even in the background at times, and in time things will get better she needs her family and friends right now more than anything even if she says she doesnt she really does you are doing your best by just being there if you need to talk im here anytime please take care lots of love to all of you hunny xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
...............................
|
