A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,i have just started going out with someone a year older than me, who has had a few more sexual partners than me and i get real worried that i am not good enough. i haven't made her cum yet, but she tells me that she doesn't often and it is hard for her to reach climax.Also, i can't seem to last for more than about 15 minutes, sometimes abit longer.Anyone got tips for stopping yourself finishing before you are ready to? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2007): My answer might be a little silly because I'm a female, but I'm also in your shoes. Okay, I'm going to be 100% open with you in answering this question:
My boyfriend has had about 30 sex partners! Wow, I know, but somehow he was safe about it, always went in to get himself checked-out, always used condoms, etc, so it's not like I have to worry about him giving me anything.
ANYWAY, me, I've only had 3 partners before I met him, so obviously, I came to bed with him as somewhat of a greenhorn. However, don't fret! It's fun! You just have to go with the flow and let the person show you, actually ask them, what they want from you. It really will be a fun learning experience. I'm doing positions I could never ever imagine, you know? I like that I'm dating someone with more experience because everytime we get intimate, it's exciting! So just be open with your partner, try everything once, ask what they want and how, etc, etc, etc. I think my boyfriend likes it when I get good at the things he's taught me. It's so much fun!
ANYWAY, and to further discuss your question, as a female, I often have trouble climaxing as well. I have never had an orgasm while having intercourse, but I can climax if my boyfriend gives me oral sex or if he fingers me. I can't climx from sex alone, and I get too distracted during sex to climax from being fingered. Orgasm takes concentration for me. Perhaps your girlfriend is the same way. The sex still feels amazing, trust me, it still all feels really great and wonderful and soooooooooOOOOOOOOoooooo good, but your girl (or myself) might not actually climax. It's OK! It's all about the ride, not the destination, afterall!
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (19 December 2007):
 If I were you, I would see this as an opportunity. I would follow starfairy's and Baby Duck's advice, and would set myself to the task of pleasing her. Let's suppose -and I'm not saying it- that you're indeed a lousy lover: what would be better than improving? And, if you're a good one, why not become even better?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2007): Masturbate about an hr or so before u plan on having sex.Think about something else for a little while, during sex...to take your mind off the situation, so that you are less in the mood to cum.
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (19 December 2007):
 Ask her to show you what she likes. I always show guys exactly what I like, guarantees you will both enjoy the experience, no awkwardness. Stimulate her clit during sex, and make sure she's had plenty of foreplay. Use a bit of lube...You'll be ok :o)
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