A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and i have been together for just over 2 months.I really like her, but this is her 1st real relationship and i dont think she's quite sure what being with someone is all about..I go to the same school as her, and see her for only about an hour a day, if im lucky. she has no phone, so i cant talk to her, and talking on msn just isnt the same. i cant have a cyber-relationship.Im always having to leave my friends to be with her, and she would never do the same for me.When im with her, everythings fine, but its just, i feel like im putting in all the effort.I spoke to her about it, and she agreed that she might not be ready for any kind of commitment.I DONT want this to end.Despite of all that i really love her.What should i do???
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female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (29 October 2007):
I guess it comes down to what you feel is more important for YOU. So are satisifying your needs/desires/wants of being in a relationship most important or being with a girl who you really love, buttt still not fulfiling eveyrthing you need, but with some hope that maybe eventualy things will get more serious?
I think that maybe you should end this relationship because in the end you wont be happy as eveyrthing you need and want is not being met. There will be another girl out there who you will love and who will be ready for a relationship.
If you stick with your current gf, you could be waiting for a longggg time. And I find it hard to believe that you could be content wth cooling things down a bit. Its not fair on u for your needs to go unmet, just as its unfair to make her be more serious then what shes ready for.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007): Sounds like you already know it has to end, but you are having trouble personally facing the fact that it has got to. If you don't mind being dumped try riding out the relationship. Most likely you guys will find a way to work it out, but there is a chance she will come to see things as you have and end it.
You are the bigger person here. Those with little or no relationship experience can sometimes be much more difficult to be with for the first few months, and eventually figure out the rhythm needed.
Lastly, you may try playing hard-ball. Spend more time with you friends, because they will be there for you longer than she will (most likely). Make her realize that without your trying, nothing is happening, and then she will grow closer to you or it will end. Either way I feel you have nothing to lose.
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A
female
reader, samohir  +, writes (29 October 2007):
 relax a bit, take it more as fun and satisfactory than commitment thing. If this is her 1st relationship,likely is normal to be scared and no ready. So why you need to force the thingS? You can just get her apart instead getting closer!
and at that age, try have fun, enjoy the things together, dont take measure of the effort, and things will come up later as they need to be:)
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