A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My b/f and I can't talk without getting into a fight! It seems like he feels the need to challenge everything that comes out of my mouth, even the most benign statements. He corrects, or contradicts with attitude. It's getting to the point where I don't even want to talk to him because it becomes a battle ground. I love him to pieces, and he does have his good point and I know no one is perfect, but this is starting to ruin our relationship. My friends think he has 'small man syndrome' because he stands 5'7 and he feels the need to always assert what he feels is his superior knowledge, over weak, little female (me), or that he's threatened by the fact that I have a brain. I don't know, but it's getting old and I don't want this to be what breaks us up. Our relationship is otherwise great. Do I just over look his constant demeaning "corrections" or continue to fire back when he starts an argument? He doesn't seem to think he's the problem. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007): seems im in the same position as you,but for me its also the horrendous names he calls me,but its time i got out and thats what i intend to do
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (29 October 2007):
 Hi,
I'm afraid you've got a bona fide male chauvenist on your hands. You only have to go into the local pub to see them lined up at the bar ( their ex girlfriends and ex wives having long ago ditched them ). They believe that the man is the head of the household and that all women are subservient. This is a result of generations of conditioning and I'm afraid you've got a hell of a job if you think you can turn your man around.
I gather your friends dont think too much of him ( this isnt a good start is it, we all want our friends to like our choices and it hurst when they dont ) .
He sounds very controlling as well, another warning sign.
It's your choice to make, but I would gather up all your friends and ask for a frank assessment of your boyfriend. Think about what they say, love is blind after all, if there is hope by all means continue. But I really cant see why anybody in this day and age will settle for a controlling male chauvenist - their place is at the local bar sobbing into their pint of Guinesss ( out of harms way )
He obviously has a lot of qualities you like, but dont you think as time goes on his more controlling behavioural patterns will assert themselves more? You state that he doesnt think he has a problem, if this is not a worrying sign I dont know what is.
Good luck in whatever you do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007): His family environment and his parents are the problem with these people. My bf used to be like that too. He learned it form his parents. He was always in 'defense mode'. He thought he was always perfect in every way. Those men like to punish their partners for what their parents did to them or didn't do to them.
I wouldn't know what to say to help you because I can't deal with this kind of people. They have to deal with their emotional problems first to be a good partner.
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A
male
reader, dapone 1 +, writes (29 October 2007):
 hi,
Sorry to say he has a big problem, i bet he only corrects woman, he is mentally bulling you and the sooner you get him to stop the better, because if you do not it will only get worse, i think you need to see some one about this, it may be an illness he has, some times when people get to a certain age and start doing strange things it is time to see a doctor, he will always say he does nothing, but does not know that he is doing anything, maybe you should get him checked out just in case.
i wish you luck.
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A
male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (29 October 2007):
 I can see how this would become annoying. The realtionship I was in not so long ago found many arguements through things which you speak of; seems like anything you say has to be corrected, or challenged.
I will say that this is not a good sign. I don't have a massive ammount of personal experience in this, but what I do know is that, as you have already pointed out, this is not the sign of a healthy relationship.
As far as finding a solution goes, talk to him about it. I know from experience that this can be a rather frustrating subject, so avoiding another arguement may proove difficult, unless you can create a civilized atmosphere (gosh, it's a lot of effort JUST to talk about a relationship!) however, if you can find an easy way to communicate, you can basically tell him the problem, and how the problem makes you feel.
In future, if he continues to bicker, why not simply kill the arguement dead in the water if the opportunity arrises? Simply say, firmly, that you don't want to discuss it if it's going to lead to a quarrel.
I don't want to give off a defeatest attitude, but as I said before, I'm talking only from the one experience that I've had; communication is a key in a successful relationship, and if the two of you can't communicate without entering a battle of wits, then I don't like the chances of the two of you lasting.
Still, you say he has some fine qualities, so I wish you the best of luck! both of you.
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