A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Sex with my new boyfriend is not great, and even though I like him I'm about to call it quits. I am thinking of pretending like I'm completely uninterested in sex to see if that kick starts him. I hate to play games, but talking about sex with lazy ex-lovers has not had good results for me. He has watched a lot of porn in the past couple of years and masturbated a lot. He seems to only want me to give him oral sex or wants quickie sex when he wakes up in the morning with a boner. When I initiate sex, he is hard to arouse. I've tried to kiss/lick him in various ways and places but he says it tickles, so I've backed off. He tells me I'm hot and I can see him looking at me lustfully. I have asked him what turns him on and suggested various things and he basically says he wants to me to "suck his d**k" and/or let him ejaculate on me. I have obliged a few times, but I'm kinda done with that until he delivers some good sex in return. I almost feel like he's afraid. Any suggestions?
View related questions:
ejaculate, oral sex, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008): Maybe he's having erectile problems. Tons of porn use, the way you describe him almost seeming afraid, it all sounds like that.
Or maybe it's an issue of him being intimidated when someone takes an active role in the experience.
Partly it sounds like he's just being an selfish lover. Surely he knows you're not getting as much out of it as he is.
Talk to him about it. Don't shut him out until you've at least tried to open the dialogue some more.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008): act insulted afterwards. if he doesn't get it, then confront him about his unwillingness to please you.
...............................
A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (7 August 2008):
 Ah, a selfish sex partner is never something that leaves you wanting more. What worked for me is in the heat of a sexual moment, taking control of the situation completely. When is is good and hard, and ready, and tries to push your head down there, object quietly with only a "oh YEAH?" look on your face, and tell him something like "when I see your face, it remindes me of slip and slide!" and sit right down on it. When I tried it, my partner went nuts. I'm not saying take control everytime, but sometimes when we need to establish a sexual balance with a partner, it's a good idea to..... well, give 'em an offer they CAN'T refuse. If it bothers him, then maybe he isn't right for you. MAYBE. What I am saying is not a fact, it's an opinion. I just believe that a good sign that someone is right for you is if they are compatable in bed with you. It's not the only sign, but it is a sign. I wouldnt want to settle for someone that wasnt open to the "give and recieve" aspects of bedroom behavior. It would effect the whole relationship. My husband and I now have a very enjoyable sex life, and if one gets all the pleasures one night, we quietly make sure that favor is returned the next!
...............................
|
