A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My new bf keeps flirting with MY friends. My Facebook page is pretty popular and heaps of guys flirt with me on a daily basis. I find it really hard to police and am still trying to clean up my profile of these people. Mafia Wars killed my profile affectively. Anyway my new man decided he would be friends with my female friends - he has two of my closest friends and when he is not flirting with me he is flirting with them on their pages...WHY?? I don't get it. Is it just to keep me interested in him??? Anyway I started flirting back with my guy friends and then he behaves himself when he sees that. What is bothering me is...I really want this new relationship to work out ultimately...but I don't want the games or the drama...but now its like we are both playing the same game back at each other. I started to give him the cold shoulder immediately...feeling a bit annoyed that he would try and impress my friends. I don't know if he is doing that so that they will like him and say that back to me...why didn't he check if I was okay about that?? ANYWAY I am trying to turn a blind eye otherwise I will come across as jealous and insecure and I don't want him to perceive that. Obviously as its a new relationship there is a little bit of insecurity due to his behaviour. What is going on here? He now tells me he loves me every day. I barely say it back..and just say it out of politeness...cos quite frankly that behaviour is bothering me. I told him so and he apologised and then it happened all over again...can someone make sense what he is doing here?
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female
reader, sweetiebabes  +, writes (10 January 2011):
 I feel your boyfriend is trying to make you jealous and if you get upset that is a sign you care.
If he does that to you again, just speak up and tell him you don't like it in a calm manner like you have the self-control.
If he continues still to disrespect you, leave and be unavailable to him. This way, he would realize you can't easily be taken for granted and he will perceive you as dignified with self-control.
A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (10 January 2011):
 hi
this should be a red flag to you. you are trying to sweep it under the carpet and hide your feelings though because you don't want to look jealous. you say he is 'flirting'. is he really flirting or just chatting? if you are SURE that he is flirting he could be doing it for a few reasons, 1) to make you jealous, but if this is the case; then he is playing head games and this shows he can be emotionally cruel 2) he is a womaniser looking either for attention from women or possibly more - this also shows him to be emotionally cruel to you. if he is behaving like this now there will be 2 outcomes 1) he will get worse - if he is behaving like this now while the relationship is still new and fresh and you both should be still making the effort to 'impress' each other 2) he will calm down when he gets settled with you and feels more comfortable in the relationship, but then that makes me ask if he is not already at that comfortable/settled/knows you really well stage, then why does he keep professing his love for you??
you have taken a step back and analysed the situation and him and seen that there is cause for concern, whether you choose to ignore your instincts is up to you
xx
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A
male
reader, faenon  +, writes (10 January 2011):
 Maybe his just trying to prove his a decent bloke to the girlfriends or maybe his just a bubbly person who flirts but means nothing by it if it bothers you either get used to it or speak up about it to him. And in regards to FB theres a privacy option for a reason so only friends and family can contact you on your page you know I am all for meeting new people but only folks I meet when out and about in my own neck of the woods hence why only friends and family can access my FB.
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